Electronegativity
by BritCat - Twilight Lover
Summary: Edward attacks Bella when he first sees her. Thankfully, she was late for school, so no one was around at the time. Good news for Edward, not so much for Bella. Normal pairings. All vampires. Rating subject to change.
1. Out of the Frying Pan

**Still not SM. **

**What's with the title? Electronegativity is the ability of an atom to attract electrons. It could be a metaphor for Bella and Edward's attraction to each other. In reality, having a science-like name on a document stops little sisters from trying to read them. She assumes I'm doing homework, and I can continue writing for you guys.**

**Enjoy!**

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I was less than happy with my move to Forks. The rain was persisting, as always and the scenery was simply different shades of green, just as I remembered it. What made that first day of school worse was I woke up with blood smeared along the insides of my thighs, and staining my sheets. Wonderful, I thought to myself, another thing to prove that my time in Forks will be nothing but hell.

I showered and shoved a few tampons into my backpack, ate breakfast quickly and cursed my own tardiness. As I drove to school in the loud truck I began to wonder exactly why I had moved, but kept repeating to myself that it was for Renee. I pulled up into the parking lot and sighed, leaning my head against the steering wheel. I was on time, barely, so there wasn't anyone in the parking lot, except two model -like teenagers.

One was blonde and leonine, looking curiously at my truck. The other was searching through his bag for something, a cell phone. The school looked less like a school and more like a series of small apartment buildings or something similar. No fences, no security systems. It felt too alien already.

I got out of the car and blushed as the blonde followed my movements. As I walked by the two teens the bronze haired one stiffened. I still hadn't seen his face yet, and he hadn't glanced at mine, so I could only assume that I had startled him, until his phone exploded in his hand. The blonde didn't even flinch as the metal bounced off his skin, but instead looked worriedly at the other boy. The boy turned to face me and my heart stopped for a second.

His face was beautiful. He had strong, angular features, that were pale and perfect, his hair fell messily around his eyes and he was well built, gaining slightly in muscle what the other one had in height. His eyes were blacker than coal, and it scared me. He looked furious, and hungry, and out of control. I hadn't even completed another step before the boy lunged.

I couldn't see anything, except a blur. Suddenly we were not in the parking lot anymore.

We were surrounded by trees and he crouched down, over me. How had I gotten on the floor? His lips pressed to my neck and I felt a sharp pain, before the most curious sensation. I could feel the pulling at my neck, my blood being drained from my body, faster and faster. I wanted to move, and at the same time I wanted the god-like creature to finish what he had started. And then it became chaotic.

A huge crash, like thunder hurled itself into my eardrums and I felt a tug at my neck as the god was thrown from me. The two models were fighting, viciously, their movements blurred by the speed. The bronze haired one wanted nothing more than to get to me and the blonde was trying to prevent him from doing so. There was something else though – a vicious burning that had started up in my neck.

I wanted to scream, it felt as though I was on fire. But I stayed still, transfixed by the battle before me. All too soon, other models joined us. One was extremely big, looking more like a bear than a human, and another, small, female this time, who focused on me instead. She pulled me into her arms and began running, the trees blurring around us, whisking me farther and farther away from the others.

I wanted to tell her that the burning was everywhere. That it now stretched from my fingers to my toes. It burned my veins, my nerves, my spine and my brain. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do something, but I remained inert. Soon enough I was inside somewhere. I could faintly hear voices talking. It sounded like the whispers of dozens of angels. I could feel nothing but the fire, and I cared no more about anything else. I could look around the room, and could see multiple faces, some familiar, some strange. I never saw the one I wanted to. I wanted the god to come back and kill me. Kill me, let the torture end. I couldn't open my mouth. I couldn't even blink. The only thing I was vaguely aware of was the room shaking, as if an earthquake were happening. It wasn't, I was just shaking so hard that it seemed that way.

I didn't think I was scared, not angry, just confused. How long had I been here? I was supposed to be in school. Would Charlie find out? I wondered all sorts of things, trying to block the fire from my mind. Eventually I settled on a song, repeating the lyrics over and over in my head.

The minstrel boy to the war has gone  
In the ranks of death you will find him.  
His father's sword he hath girded on,  
With his wild harp slung behind him.

Land of Song, said the warrior bard,  
Though all the world betrays thee.  
One sword, my liege, thy rights shall guard.  
One faithful harp shall praise thee.

I had no idea where I'd even heard the song before. It just kept playing over and over in my head. I couldn't see a clock, so I had no idea how long I had been on fire. I was constantly in the dark, with only one visitor. He looked like a doctor. He also looked extremely sad. He kept apologizing. Why was he apologizing? He hadn't set me on fire.

I wanted nothing more than to be put out, to be placed in cold water, but I couldn't move. What made the torture worse was the fact that I could hear the rain pounding on the roof above me. I wished with all my strength that the roof could be peeled away, so that the rain could douse me. No such thing happened.

"Two minutes." A soprano voice said.

Two minutes until what? From what? Had I only been in pain for two minutes? It seemed like days. I counted down, glad that I had something to do. As I neared the minute mark, my heart began beating out of control. So was it two minutes until my death? I was relieved and a little sad. I counted down the last minute, still frozen and I felt my heart give up.

I was finally able to move. The fire was out. I shut my eyes, afraid of the clarity of vision I had gained. Instead I focused on breathing. I lay there, thinking for a minute. I could hear six sets of lungs in various locations. I could hear birds, trees, rain and cars, so busy that it sounded like the motorway. It sounded close, but I was no judge.

"Is she awake?" a deep voice called. I heard a thump and a muffled grunt of pain. I cracked a smile. How was I able to do so? I couldn't feel my pulse. Without opening my eyes I pressed my fingers to my neck, searching.

"You won't find a pulse."

I opened my eyes to stare diligently at the ceiling. I blinked and turned my head towards the source of the noise. Three males and a female stood in the corner of the room, the woman hiding behind a protective barrier, formed by the others.

"Why not?" I whispered. My throat felt a little sore.

"You... this might take some explaining. How about we go through introductions first? My name is Carlisle Cullen." The name sounded familiar, and the face was friendly enough. I relaxed a little. I hadn't even realised I was on edge.

"Bella Swan." I replied, holding out my hand. "Nice to meet you." My voice, now louder, sounded strange to me.

Carlisle blinked a moment, hesitating, before he took my hand. We shook and suddenly I had a clear view of the female who had been behind him. She was pretty too, and smiling hesitantly, warmly. What was wrong with these people? Why were they acting so strangely? There was a huge male, the bear like one I had seen earlier. The last one was the blonde boy I had seen earlier. He was crouched, tense, his eyes blazing in warning. He had a multitude of scars I hadn't noticed before. I stepped back, alarmed by his aggressive stance. I backed up until I was sitting on the bed.

"This is my wife Esme and two of my sons; Jasper and Emmett."

"It's nice to meet you dear. I am so sorry." Esme said. Sorry? Why did everyone keep apologizing? I sat on the bed, sensing a long explanation, and tucked my arms around my legs. I noticed the dirt on my t-shirt and jeans, and winced the stains would not come out easily. I'd need to wash the clothes when I got home.

"Bella, do you notice anything different about yourself?" Carlisle asked carefully.

My fingers dug into the bed as my hands flew to my sides. I was mortified when my fingers sunk through the mattress like a hot knife through butter. My skin looked as pale as ever, but as I stared at it, I realised there was something more. Where before I had had goose bumps and multiple scars, now my arms were smooth, flawless even. My chest felt as though it were almost falling out of my bra, whereas before the bra had been slightly too large. My voice sounded different too.

"Why?" I asked. What had they done? No complaints, obviously.

"Bella, what is the last thing you remember?" Carlisle asked, still standing. I frowned, thinking.

"I had just gotten to school, I got out of my truck and I walked by Jasper and some other guy. His cell phone exploded in his hand and he didn't even flinch. The next thing I remember, I was in the woods, there was a fight, and someone lit my body on fire." I shuddered and Carlisle sighed.

"Bella, what you felt, the fire, was venom. It made its way into your bloodstream and began changing your body. It replaced your bodily fluids with more of itself, made your cells stronger, you reflexes faster, changed your appearance, and your diet."

I sat, not knowing what to say. This was some sort of joke, surely.

"She doesn't believe you." Jasper said. He sounded so sure of himself.

"Bella, we aren't human, and now neither are you." Carlisle spoke quietly, calmly as if he didn't wish me to get agitated. I simply blinked it away. I so had to be dreaming.

"Well now that's all settled, I have to go home, Charlie will be worried sick, not to mention Renee." I shuddered at the thought and turned to the door, only to have Carlisle step in front of me.

"You don't understand. You can't leave. Your different diet is a significant reason, not to mention the fact that physically you have altered."

"And that everyone thinks you're dead." Jasper murmured. A chill whipped through me.

"Dead? How long have I been here?"

"Three days, but the amount of blood left in the forest has convinced the police that you never made it."

"How am I alive?" I asked.

"You aren't." He proceeded to explain to me what I had changed into. He told me what normal vampires drink, what his family chose to do instead, and the exact reason I could not set foot near a human for at least a year, lest I give in to a blood induced frenzy.

It was a dream it had to be. I had rested my head against the steering wheel, so I was asleep at school. What an odd dream to be having. I was going to be extremely late for class. Dreams went best if you didn't fight them. Just act like everything is normal and you'd be fine. Except this didn't feel like a dream. I didn't have the same accepting everything attitude. In my dreams I couldn't tell I was dreaming, until I woke up. Well, it could've been weirder. Better a dream like this than a nightmare where I'd gone into school forgetting my pants or something ridiculous. I stood up and smiled.

"Okay. So now what?"

They looked at me as though I had gone crazy. It was my dream, shouldn't I be thinking they're crazy? I looked down at my still dirty clothes.

"Can I go back to my house and get some clean clothes or something?" I asked. "Please?" might as well add manners in. Suddenly I heard a squeal of excitement and I was swept into a pair of tiny arms.

"Can I show you what I've got you? I knew you'd be needing clothes so I did some internet shopping while you were changing, and I've found some fabulous choices. It might take a while for you to go through them all, but I want to see everything on you at least once!"

"Alice. Introductions." Jasper looked very uneasy with Alice so close to me. I was simply surprised. I don't think I'd ever received such a greeting from someone so small and bouncy.

"Hi I'm Alice, you're Bella, you hate shopping and I love it. So let me do it for you!"

"Alice she's still incredibly dangerous!" Jasper snarled. Alice let go and backed up a little, to ease Jasper's state of mind I supposed.

"She won't attack me."

Me dangerous? Bella Swan? I couldn't walk in a straight line without tripping. The only threat I posed was if someone gave me sports equipment. I looked around, half expecting to see a randomly appearing tennis racket or something. No such thing. This was a normal dream within the category of strange dreams. When I woke up I had to write this down. I whacked myself in the side of the head, trying to clear my thoughts I presumed and simply stared at the pixie.

"Alice. You're right. I really despise shopping." She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hallway. I tried to absorb everything I could as I went. The house looked so open and beautiful. There were some vaguely familiar paintings hung on the walls and even a cross at the end of the hallway. Come on? In what world would a family of vampires have a cross in their house? They'd die right? Whatever.

I was thrown onto a bed and Alice disappeared into another room, coming out with arms full of clothing, quickly turning my dream into a nightmare. We went through hundreds of outfits, even some ridiculously expensive looking ball gowns. Why the hell would I need a ball gown? She eventually settled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a light blue shirt.

"There. Now you look gorgeous." Unlikely. I turned to find a mirror and stopped in my tracks.


	2. For Crying Out Loud

I looked like a supermodel. My body had curves that I hadn't had before, my hair looked like I'd just been on a shampoo commercial, my body looked incredible and the clothes fit me well. Panic rose into me as I looked at my face. My eyes were blood red.

Suddenly Jasper was in the room, pulling Alice away from me. Emmett was there, crouched by the doorway. I was shaking, with fear. What had they done to me? My eyes looked so demonic. Their eyes all ranged from gold to black, but mine were ruby red, looking frighteningly horrific. My hands touched my face, watching the person in the mirror do the same thing. Jasper and Emmett were still tensed, worried I was going to attack or something.

Come on Bella calm yourself down. Just a dream remember? I felt much better after repeating that phrase. I was no longer in panic mode, more like slight unease. This dream was beginning to scare me more and more. I sighed and sat down.

"I'm fine, I was just surprised I suppose." I ran my fingers through my hair and waited for them to relax. I sat there, trying to focus on anything else. My eyes strayed over some moving boxes.

"You're moving?" I asked.

"We're moving. When Edward changed you, he broke a treaty. We all need to get as far away from Forks as possible, before we're all destroyed."

"Well good luck with that. Will I be allowed home then?"

"No you can come with us, or risk being killed here, or you could go off on your own I suppose, after a few months." Carlisle said. I shrugged and then tucked my hands in my pockets. I needed something to do, until this nightmare was over.

"So can I help with the moving boxes?" I asked. Alice giggled and Jasper frowned, looking almost confused.

"Could you stop staring?" I asked him, waiting for the telltale blush. "I feel like a science experiment gone wrong. You won't quit looking at me."

"Aren't you.... you should be thirsty." He explained.

I raised a hand to my throat. It hadn't been unbearable until he mentioned it. I tried to focus on everything else and the thirst died away, until it was only a nag in the back of my mind.

"A little. Can I have some water- wait- blood?" I corrected myself, unsure of my dream still. Emmett laughed.

"Ah sure I need to hunt. Jazz, would you care to come with? Teach our new sister the ropes?"

"Where the hell does that phrase come from?" I wondered aloud.

"Ships. I believe. Every rope had a location and purpose, a different knot and place to be knotted. I believe that learning the ropes meant learning how to handle the ship." Carlisle smiled.

It made sense. I bowed my head casually in thanks and followed as Jasper and Emmett led me outside.

"Eddie? You coming?" Emmett shouted through a door.

"No." Was the pained reply, barely whispered.

"You won't run into anybody, if you stick to the northern ridge." Alice informed them.

And so my first hunt began. We began running, at first I feared I would fall, but before long we were darting through the trees. I wasn't feeling clumsy, I was feeling free. I could run at speeds I had only imagined, covering a massive distance in a short period of time. Before long Jasper halted my run.

There was an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't quite place. We crouched and he began pointing out my targets to me, deer, a small herd about fifty feet away from where I stood, crouched behind an old tree. Their smell ignited my throat, painfully making me aware of how thirsty I was.

"Just rely on your instincts. All that separates your satiation is a piece of thin hide." Jasper whispered to me.

I attacked, hearing the neck of the creature break as I brought it close to my mouth. As soon as the blood began soothing my throat I knew what the feeling in my stomach was: reality. My brain was telling me that this couldn't be real. My body was warning me otherwise. I finished draining the deer, unable to stop, before I sank back amongst the trees. What had I done? I felt overwhelming sadness, realisation and pity for the creature I had slaughtered. Suddenly I didn't feel sad, and Jasper was back at my side. I wanted to feel sad, but my body felt oddly calm.

"Bella? You okay?" he asked. "You seemed to be taking all of this well, until now."

"It's real." I tried to explain, whilst reminding myself in the process. "I thought it was just a dream, but it isn't is it?" Horror and sadness flickered through me before being replaced with calmness again.

I simply stared, not seeing, not wanting to see. Charlie thought I was dead. I'd never see him and Renee again. Clearly I was dangerous. Would I attack my own father? If the call of animal blood was so strong that I couldn't stop feeding, how would human blood call to me? I was a monster. My life had been taken from me, turned upside down and now I was nothing but a killing machine. I sat, unable to stop my legs from folding beneath me. For whatever reason I couldn't feel sad, my body still reacted to it. Emmett tried to convince me to come back home again but I didn't want to move.

"Bella, please? Come back to the house with us? We'll talk okay? Just talk." He pleaded. My eyes met his, but my body didn't move. "Do you mind if I carry you then? I don't want you out here all night, and Jasper and I do want to get home, see Rose and Alice." Home. I wanted to go home. Back to Charlie's house. I wanted to curl up under my blankets, in my old room. I wanted to stare at the old rattling window, the tiny closet with the crack down the door, and feel normal. Nothing felt normal anymore. It wasn't fair for me to keep them from their home. I nodded meekly and was swept into his arms. I curled myself into a tight ball and just watched. We got back to the house, taking longer now that I was a burden to the giant teddy bear.

He put me down on a couch and I stared at the floor.

I didn't move for two days.

Emmett and Alice were the most frequent visitors, to the room I was in. Alice spoke about anything and everything that came to mind. I quickly learned about all the special talents in the family. Jasper kept me calm, because he could control emotions, Alice could see the future, Edward could read minds. I hadn't seen him since the accident. He had locked himself in his room, and I hadn't moved much, so neither of us had spoken. I wondered what he found in my head. I wasn't particularly bothered by his power. I wasn't thinking anything bad. I wasn't really thinking at all.

I was trying to sort my head out actually. Reset my brain. I had the opportunity to start a whole new life, but I didn't want to let go of the old one. We would be moving soon, would I stay with the Cullens? I saw no real choice. They would help keep me safe. On my own I wouldn't know what to do. I had no money, no identity anymore. I could see them becoming my family. They were so strange, so different, yet so close – I could see myself fitting in. Except with Edward. He would always see me as a mistake, a reminder of his weakness.

My brain had decided not to blame him. It wasn't his fault, really. I didn't blame him, I wasn't sure who to blame. The one time I moved, it was to get rid of the small discomfort that was the tampon. It had been in my body for days and wasn't collecting blood or doing anything, just sitting there. No menstrual cycle anymore. Positive = no cramps, no mood swings, no pimples. Negative = no children. Since when had I wanted children anyway? I wasn't sleeping either. But none of them were, so I assumed that this was the norm for a vampire.

Then, suddenly, Edward flew out of his room and out of the door. I didn't even look up. I heard a car engine start and Jasper ran outside also. Esme was sad. It was probably my fault. Alice told me about how Edward felt guilty still, how he was leaving for Alaska. What an obscene place to go. Alaska. Now Alice was sad too. Her husband had left. She sat with me and I sat with her. She didn't even talk much anymore, just told me when she had to go to school.


	3. Fallen Angel

Carlisle left for work, after a quick and quiet discussion with his wife.

"The wolves have given us one week to move, probably because their pack is still not as strong as our coven and neither side wants casualties. Be wary, but be fast about the move. I love you, my dearest." He whispered to Esme, kissing her gently. He left with one last glance at me. And then it was Esme and I. She rattled off a list of things she had to do.

"Today I have to pack all of the books in the downstairs library, and Edward's CDs, not to mention I have to try and properly store all of the antiques and the piano..." she walked off into the garden.

I blinked. I was truly being useless, after they had been nothing but kind to me. Where was the library? I stood and walked to the hallway, immediately spotting it. There were two dozen, open, empty boxes stacked beside a wall filled with novels. I could help with that. I filled all of the boxes quickly, being careful with the older books, keeping them all arranged alphabetically. Before an hour had passed I was finished and I went back to resume my place on the couch. Couch potato, I accused myself.

Esme walked directly inside, covered in dirt and went upstairs to change. She liked gardening and renovating. She was probably supposed to be keeping an eye on me. She probably didn't think I was going to move. She came back downstairs, looking much cleaner and went to get started in the library. Obviously I had been quick and quiet enough to not draw her attention. Her surprised 'oh' and pause made me smile. I was glad to have helped even a little bit. She walked back in to my room, kneeling before me.

"Thank you Bella. You've saved me some work." She looked at me, her eyes cheerless and appreciative all at once. I smiled tentatively before redirecting my gaze to the floorboards. "Would you like to help a little more?" Esme asked politely. My eyes flickered back to hers. "You could pack Edward's CD's for him. Usually he'd do it, but under the circumstances..." she offered me a hand.

I took it, slowly and she led me to his bedroom. I had to admit I liked his room. There was a beautiful gold carpet, a black couch, and an expensive stereo system. And the CDs. Hundreds of them lined the walls. I wished I could go back to my house, grab my iPod and get some of the songs from here. The classical section was the largest and it held all of my favourites and my mother's and others I'd never even heard of. There was music from every decade, but the selection for the sixties and seventies was rather small, especially compared to the others. He also had vinyl records stored in shelves, many simple copies of the CDs he owned. He had them organized by year, but I couldn't quite figure out his entire system.

I grabbed a few empty cardboard boxes and began to relocate the vast collection. A small part of my brain wanted nothing more than to demolish all of the CDs in the room, revenge for what Edward had taken from me. It was a very small part though.

I packed them all away, keeping the decades separated accordingly. By the end of two hours I had several boxes of CDs. I found a pen and labelled the boxes. The labelling system looked quite odd. 1800 was written on one box, while 60 – 70 was written on another. It made sense to me. I could easily put them all back on the shelves in the exact order I had taken them out.

I sat, surrounded by boxes, simply watching the outside world through his wall of windows, until a car sound informed me that the others were home. Alice went to my room almost immediately.

"Bella?" I heard her confusion and smiled. What I wouldn't give to see the adorable pixie's face now.

"She's in Edward's room." Esme replied. Alice was at my side in an instant.

"Did you move or did Esme have to lift you out of the room like a paperweight?" Alice asked, glaring. I made no move or answer, but my insides were laughing. Alice sat down and proceeded to tell me about her day, and a few stupid things the teachers did. Soon after, Emmett took her place and it took every effort I had not to laugh. I didn't want to laugh. It was nice being around them, but I still hadn't really let go of my life yet. It had only been two days.

I spent the next two days in Edward's room, staring at the outside world. The glass was the only thing separating me from the trees, and although I could easily break it, I didn't want to. It was an odd analogy for my current predicament. I could easily escape, leave the people who had changed my life so dramatically, yet I didn't really want to.

Esme told me that we were leaving in less than a week. I had less than a week left until my world would change forever. Being in Forks helped me to still feel connected in some way to the life I had lost. When we moved, that would be gone. They began trusting me more and more not to run off. Esme would stay outside in the garden for hours at a time, leaving me free roam the house. I could leave if I tried, although Alice would probably know before I did. I found a map in the basement, of the area, with a curious dark line drawn through the middle. It was labelled 'La Push border'. We were as far as possible from La Push, literally being on the other side of Forks, the city that lay between the Cullen house and the reservation I remembered on my visits.

One of the days, I strayed into Alice's closet. She had such an array of clothing that I could hardly believe my eyes. I ran my hand through the fabrics, feeling textures and seeing all of the colours and patterns in her wardrobe. There were a few things that I had to admit I liked. I found a beautiful blue ball-gown. It was in my size and I just had to try it on.

Oddly enough – in Alice's closet, there were clothes for every member of the family. I spun, loving the way the velvet looked on my now flawless skin. I would never look like Rosalie, but I was certainly easier on the eyes than I used to be. The next dress was incredible. I had never been one for dress up, or even one for dresses, but I was astounded by this one.

The material was so floaty that breathing made it flutter. It was white and almost floor length, hanging off the shoulders. Every move I made, it replied with a gentle swoosh. The dress had a white bodice to it also, and I looked almost like an angel. I knew exactly what was missing though. My hand flew to my neck. My mother had passed down a beautiful silver cross, with a single diamond in the center. It was from her great grandmother or something, and was currently sitting in my room at Charlie's house. He would be at work by now. I could simply go back and get it. And I did.

I heard the phone ring as I left, no doubt Alice calling to warn Esme. I simply ran faster. It took less time than I thought it would to get home. I entered through the back door and ran up to my room, to begin searching before somebody came to yell at me. I found it after a few minutes of searching and then the unthinkable happened. I had been so focused on finding the necklace and putting it on, that I hadn't heard him come in.

"Bella?"

**(Note: The next part made me cry when I was writing it.)**

I kept my eyes on the floor, knowing that the blood red would most definitely scare him. His scent burned my throat and I resisted the urge to place my hand around it. His heartbeat picked up, and I could smell saltwater. I looked up for the briefest of moments and noticed that he was crying. It took all of my effort not to break down into a sobbing heap. Charlie never cried. Ever. What had I done?

"You really are dead. You look so beautiful Bells." He whispered. What? I then understood. He had been convinced that I wasn't alive. Here I was, in my room, looking more amazing and beautiful than I ever did when I was alive, in a white dress that was practically fluttering in a nonexistent breeze. I must've looked like an angel to him. I kept my voice steady as I spoke.

"Thank you dad." What was I going to say?

I could give him proper closure. I would never be able to come back, and I sure as hell would never get over him, but he could move on. Just a few simple words. "I came back for this. You don't mind do you Charlie?" I asked, letting my hand fall on the necklace. He shook his head, his breath still jagged, tears still streaming down his face.

"It's yours. All of it."

"I don't want you to worry about me okay?" Every word felt like a knife ramming through my heart. "Everything's so different now. I know it'll be hard on you and mom, but try not to be sad." I sounded like I was asking a question. "I'm happy." Lie. "I'm in very good hands and I've made some wonderful friends. Don't mourn me please dad? I know you'll miss me, I'll miss you. But I'll be watching. I might drop in again, give you a few cooking lessons." I tried to joke, although I felt so sad. Charlie smiled weakly.

"I love you Bella. I'll miss you so much."

"I know. Just stay strong for me okay? Move on. I'll keep an eye on everything, but promise me you'll look after Renee." If I had been human, tears would have been streaming down my face. They were slowing on his at least.

"I promise Bells."

"Do me a favour, okay? Don't kill the animal that did it?" it was the only thing I could think of to get him to stop looking. Closure was what he needed. He could help Renee through it all too. Charlie nodded helplessly and I smiled.

"How's heaven?" he asked quietly. It was time to lie again.

"Beautiful. You'll see it eventually, don't worry dad." My insides felt so empty. I was lying to the one person I could have ever gone back to. Why? To protect the people who had stolen my family from me. What's done is done. At that moment I heard a muffled curse from outside. Rosalie was here, ready to rip me to shreds. I looked to the window, worriedly.

"You have to leave?" he asked. I nodded, keeping my eyes away from his.

"Do me another favour? Close your eyes daddy." I asked, feeling so small, like a child again. His eyes began filling with tears once more.

"You'll be gone when I open them." He didn't ask. He knew. If only I could cry. "I don't want to close 'em Bells."

"Please daddy? Just count down from five. Just like we used to when you tucked me into bed and I was still afraid of the dark." My voice was barely a whisper but I knew he heard it. A single sob fell from his lips before he closed his eyes.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you daddy. Tell mom I love her too." He fell to his knees, letting his head rest in his hands.

"Five." Came the gentle whisper.

I jumped around him, darting down the stairs as quietly as I could.

"Four." I heard as I stepped into the kitchen.

"Three." He said as I left through the backdoor.

"Two." I had hit the forest at this point.

"One." I collapsed into a heap. I heard him wipe his eyes and laugh as he saw the empty room. He stood and I could see him looking out of the window through the trees. He looked a lot healthier than he had before my visit. He would be fine. I didn't want to move. I was staring at the green expanse of the trees and grass, when suddenly four other people were around me. None of them moved.

"That was a very brave thing you did Bella." Esme murmured in reply, kneeling beside me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"That was stupid and it could've gotten us all exposed." Rosalie snapped. I didn't even flinch. She was right.

"Charlie will be fine Bella. I've seen it. He wasn't doing so well before. He'll be fine now." Alice whispered. That made me feel a little better.

"Your control is incredible. You were feet away from him and you didn't kill him. Jasper wouldn't have believed it possible." Emmett said, appreciatively. Of course I didn't kill him. He was my father. I could never live with myself. I didn't want to move again. This time Esme carried me home.

"By the way – I love that dress on you. You really do look like an angel. I picked it out for Rosalie years ago and she hates it. It suits you so much better. Do you want to keep it?" Alice asked, chirpy as always. I sighed once. I really didn't care anymore. The dress would only serve to remind me of what I had done. What had I done? I had made my father happier. It was a good moment surely? But I felt so sad and awful. I'd think about it later. After Rosalie had calmed down maybe. All I wanted now, was to actually die, escape the pain. If wishes were horses...


	4. Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back

For the rest of the week I did what I was told. I even answered questions, nodding or shaking my head when appropriate. I helped to pack everything. I changed into a regular jeans and t-shirt combination and began to feel a little like I had moved into a university dorm. My brain was bored, that much I knew. I sat in Edward's room, reading from every textbook he owned, math, biology, government, physics, mythology, sociology, anthropology, chemistry. I read the lessons and completed the questions, keeping my brain occupied.

Soon enough, Emmett realised I was focusing on school and gave me his homework to do. It was a grade above mine, so it took a little longer, but I got the hang of it, finishing it for him. It became a regular routine. He would come home from school, run quickly through the lesson then I would get started on the homework.

And then we had one day left. We were moving now, finally I was leaving Forks and I was extremely sad to go. I hadn't considered it my home, until recently anyway. My stuff was all packed and everyone was ready to go. The house looked extremely bare, almost as if it had been untouched. I walked downstairs, into the garage and kept to myself.

I sat, curled up in the back of somebody's expensive car. I wasn't sure whose. The others were all taking their favourite cars. I was only to be a burden. They were talking about how they would get the last car to wherever we were going when I finally spoke.

"I could drive it." I offered. Everyone blinked a few times about the fact that I had actually said something without needing to be prompted or prodded into speaking. Alice simply smiled.

"Perfect." Alice skipped off. Carlisle looked from me, to Rosalie, to the car.

"She is not touching the Vanquish." Rosalie began. Was that the name of the black car? It was beautiful and the name did suit it.

"Rosalie, it solves our problems." Carlisle reminded her calmly. He turned to me.

"Can you drive an automatic?"

I shrugged. I had no idea. He took me by the hand, leading me into the driver's seat where he proceeded to teach me the differences. It seemed much simpler to me. Rosalie wouldn't stop cursing as she watched the exchange.

"Why doesn't she like me?" I asked Carlisle once she had left the garage. We were the only two there. He blinked, surprised by my speech again.

"Emmett is rather fond of you. Jealousy, maybe? Because of what Edward did to you, he has left and Jasper has gone with him. Perhaps she is angry at that fact and directing it towards all the wrong people." He smiled, his wise eyes calm. "The rest of us don't blame you for anything. You have, so far, proved an interesting addition to our family, with incredible self control, especially for a newborn."

Our family. I could be a part of their family. I liked that. It sounded okay. Just until I got my head wrapped around things. Thanks to me, though, their family was fractured. Alice spent most of her nights with me, and I could tell she was sad about not having Jasper there with her. I would have to make things better somehow. Perhaps once we got resettled I could go and find the men, bring them back to the family that mourned their loss.

I was almost excited about moving by the end of the day. We were moving north, to an obscure town in the middle of nowhere, much like the one we had just left. We would be hidden away in the Rockies, somewhere in British Columbia. I was excited, and sad all at once. Excited about the prospect of literally having a blank canvas to restart my life on, and sad, because I would be leaving a lot of the good memories and caring people behind.

Driving the Vanquish was incredible. The car was so smooth, handled so well, especially compared to my old truck. I drove behind Emmett's huge jeep and in front of Rosalie's convertible. We probably looked like a moving car show. I relaxed after a few hours and turned on the CD player. Clair de Lune filled the car and I instantly began humming along. Watching the scenery pass by at such speeds, whilst the car gently hummed along beneath me was so relaxing that I could've slept. If only we could sleep.

It was a very long drive and soon the paved roads gave way to older ones, and eventually dirt paths. We wound our way through countless trees and rock formations, past lakes and eventually we were making our way through permafrost. The air smelled so fresh up here, so free. I think that even Renee would like this place. A stab of pain went through my chest, as we pulled up to the house. I had to let go. They would.

Soon enough we were all let free and I was told to choose a room. Although they let me choose any room, I could see the ones they all favoured. There was one room with a direct spiral staircase to the garage beneath it. Rosalie and Emmett's room. There was one with a walk in closet so large that it looked like its own room. Alice and Jasper's room. There was one room with marks left by Edward's CD towers in the past. There was another lined with shelves, for the countless books Carlisle owned. And the last room was simple, with two walls of windows. It was at the corner of the house and had no space really. It was small, cozy and would fit a wall of shelves for whatever books I would eventually obtain. I sat down in it almost immediately, envisioning.

"Pay up. She chose the guest room." Emmett's voice came. I heard both Rosalie and Carlisle hand over money. Carlisle betting? This could be a fun family after all.

Alice came in with a laptop a few minutes later, informing me that I should look around for furniture. What did I want in my room? I had no need for a bed, and yet it wouldn't feel like a room without it. I wanted a desk, obviously and some shelves. What else? I closed my eyes, remembering my room in Phoenix. I had had a desk, some shelves, a rocking chair, from when I was a baby... The rocking chair. I had an identical one in Charlie's house also. Would it be ridiculous to ask for a rocking chair? I typed it in anyway, searching. My pain increased ten-fold when I found it.

It looked exactly the same as the ones I had had in my other rooms. It was just a lighter wood than the others. I copied the link to the page I had seen it on, and began looking around for other things. Soon enough I had a single bed, and a desk in the matching wood to the rocking chair. I found a shelving set also, uniquely carved and quite beautiful. When I finished my list I sat, thinking about how I was to pay for the purchases, it wouldn't be cheap. With my eyes looking the way they did, I could hardly get a job with my 'condition'. I wasn't even finished high school. I sobbed once and suddenly Alice was by my side.

"I can't do anything can I? I haven't finished high school, I can't get a job, there's no way I'll ever be able to afford any of it anyway-"

"Bella. My family is so rich we need things to spend money on. We give millions to charities every year. I spend millions on clothes every year. Believe me when I say you are no burden, if you want to be a part of this family you will get anything you need. You can attend high school, just give it a few years and we'll all go together. Again." I wondered how many diplomas she had.

She stole the laptop and disappeared. I went to go and find something I could do to help. I found Esme and looked at her inquisitively as she ran her hands through her hair, looking around at all of the tasks she had to complete.

"You want to do something useful? Um...." She turned around on her heel three times, surveying the mass of boxes around her.

I was given the task of setting up Edward's room. It took me a longer amount of time to place all the CD's back in the shelves. I laughed as Alice came in, carrying the couch single handedly. It looked so silly. The super strength was super funny in cases such as this. With Emmett it was at least plausible, but Alice just looked ridiculous.

I knew that they were all still kind of gloomy, probably due to the missing family members, and me. Why should everyone have to suffer? Their whole life had been upturned, simply because I had moved into Forks and made their life hell. And now, instead of letting me mourn and wade in self-pity they were sharing my pain. Their mistake.

I found a good CD and plugged it into the stereo, turning the music up and grabbing Alice to dance with me. She was shocked at first, but soon was having fun too. We twirled around each other, me finally having fun because I wasn't falling over everything. I was still sad, but I appeared happy, and without Jasper to contradict the appearance, the family finally thought I felt better, or was at least making an effort to cheer up. Carlisle and Esme danced in a style I hadn't seen in ages. Emmett and Rosalie joined them and Alice held out her hands to me.

"I can't dance."

"You just were." She insisted. I looked around at the elegant dancing style they were using and shook my head vehemently.

"You never learned to waltz you mean? I'll teach you." She held out her arms again. The lesson was easy and soon enough Alice and I were spinning gracefully as well. There was nothing but a sense of serenity and positivity in the room at that point. They all visibly relaxed and began smiling slightly as we danced among the last few boxes.

Dancing with Alice was interesting. She was bouncing all over the place, while somehow managing to keep an elegant appearance about her. She was so carefree and she never let anything she couldn't change bother her. I couldn't change what I was. Why should I let it bother me? As we spun around the room I looked at the drastic changes the others had gone through. I knew all of their stories, at least part of them. They had all had less than desirable changes.

Rosalie's had been painful, Edward's had been rushed, Jasper had been manipulated and then the manipulator, Alice couldn't even remember, Esme had tried to commit suicide. They had all managed to bring their lives together, let go of everything in their pasts. I had to do that. I had to seriously heal, but I could turn my life around if I really tried. I was beginning to like this family, the least I could do was make it easier on all of us. I began to slowly heal at that point.

It had been nearly two weeks since we had left Forks. I was already having fun with the others, whipping their buts when it came to arm wrestling matches. Emmett seemed particularly pissed when I won. Alice set up my room quickly, finishing it in two days. She pointed to the shelves and asked what books I'd like. I shrugged and told her I'd find my own.

I was Alice's new Barbie doll and spent many hours trying on clothes that she found for me. I also finished going through all of Edward's school textbooks. I now had nothing to do. I asked what movies they had and surprisingly they told me they didn't really own a collection of movies. I went to my room and began making a list. All the movies I'd ever seen and even remotely enjoyed. I had at least a hundred titles by the end of five minutes. So Alice went shopping again.

Emmett found a television the size of a car and a stereo system that could shatter glass. We converted one of the unused rooms on the downstairs level into a movie room. Emmett was ecstatically happy, and even Carlisle seemed enthused. After a hell of a load of movies, we finally took a few nights off.

Before long I began writing. Poetry, prose, descriptions, journals, whatever came to mind. I was dead bored already, and Alice was slowly becoming more depressed. She talked to Jasper on the phone a little, but she still missed him greatly.

I hadn't hunted in weeks. The others were beginning to get worried about me. I didn't want to hunt. I still felt too guilty about driving off their family to do anything. I almost wanted to punish myself, so I was behaving masochistically. Alice soon figured out what was wrong, despite my friendly and relaxed demeanour. Too soon after that she actually went out and found an animal, bringing it to me. She threw it inside my room and shut the door. The animal scampered frantically around my room, looking for an exit. I simply watched it, despite the sharp pain in the back of my throat. Soon enough it calmed down, standing as far away from me in the small room as it could. I sat, writing still, this time describing the deer in front of me. It was a beautiful creature. I heard Alice's screams of frustration, especially as I unlocked my door, letting the animal dart out again. It was funny, in a painful way.


	5. Bat Out of Hell

**AN – I am so happy! Somebody finally figured out what I was doing with the chapter titles! Still, I'm sad only one person made the connection, and the worst part is, they were an anonymous reviewer, so I couldn't congratulate them. **

**A.n.y.w.a.y...**

* * *

Esme figured out that I was punishing myself for driving the others away. Or at least, she was the first to mention it aloud. The others slowly put together the pieces after that. Alice was the first to take action. She called Jasper's cell phone almost immediately. I knew she didn't mean for me to hear. I had Edward's iPod blaring, but the earphones were on my shoulders. She probably thought I couldn't hear her. But I heard every word.

"Jazz? I miss you so much. What's he like?" there was a long pause.

"She's the same. She won't hunt though, punishing herself for making you two leave." A shorter pause.

"I know it's stupid. They both need to have their heads slammed together." She waited for a while, whilst Jasper spoke of something or another.

"Perhaps. Bring him home, would you? Use a guilt trip if you have to, but get him back here. She won't hunt until you're both safely home, I'm sure of it." There was a short pause.

"She seems happier to me. She's got her room set up and she seems content. We all watch movies together, my new favourite is Finding Nemo and we've had some fun dancing and just lounging around. She seems happy, but I'm not the expert. Both of _them_ are currently in Alaska." A long pause this time. I was running my fingers along the wires of the earphones, subconsciously.

"Okay. See you then." She sounded much happier. "I love you. Bring the idiot home would you? Tell him that his CDs are all here, waiting to be played."

Then she hung up. I heard her coming upstairs to see me and quickly shoved the earphones into my ears. Soon enough there was a knock at my door.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come hunt with me?" I could say yes. They were coming home. Alice and Jasper would be reunited soon. I could say no, continue to torture myself for no reason. They were coming home. I had no reason to hurt myself anymore. No reason to torture myself. But if I were to keep up the charade of not hearing her phone call...

"No. Thank you though."

She sighed and left, going downstairs. What could I do for the next few hours? A bath. I didn't need one, I just wanted one. I filled up the gigantic tub with as many different bubbles as I could and sunk beneath the water. I wouldn't drown obviously; I had figured out that I could hold my breath indefinitely. I sat, letting the hot water warm me and I simply relaxed.

I stayed there until almost all the bubbles had gone. The water was slowly beginning to match my own temperature. I stayed, waiting until I was submerged in a freezing cold bath. I considered moving, but honestly it was so peaceful that I didn't want to move. I couldn't hear anything, my eyes were closed and I wasn't breathing. When you are still enough in water it feels like you're floating. I felt like I had no senses at all, such a pleasant change from having pure sensory overload.

I stayed there for goodness knows how long, until my water was moved. I opened my eyes to see a hand dancing across the top of the bathwater. It was Esme. I sat up, looking at her inquisitively.

"Bella, you've been in there for nearly a day. Plus I have some good news. Jasper and Edward are coming home." I wasn't sure what my face portrayed.

"Bella, he feels really bad about what he's done to you. Just give him a chance?" she asked. I didn't mind. The vampire thing was actually really cool. I could live a hundred lives, do a hundred things I hadn't done before, I was better in every way. Just a little lonely.

"You don't have to talk to him, or really be near him, just-"

"Mom I..." I stopped her, then shut up myself. Mom? Renee was my mother. I had just called Esme my mother. She felt like my mother though. Better, since with Renee I had always been the mother figure. "I don't blame him." I finished. I could accept her as a mother.

Esme looked as though she were about to cry, happy tears though. It was then I realised I was naked in cold water, talking to my new mother figure. I hopped out of the bathtub and walked straight to my room, slipping on a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, leaving my feet bare. I towel dried my hair and pulled it back into a messy ponytail. I put Edward's iPod back and bolted downstairs, jumping onto the couch, after I had jumped over Emmett. He sensed a game and began tickling me. I kept hitting him, the sound was deafening, as he continued to tickle my ribs. Soon enough we had an audience, and then some. Edward and Jasper had arrived. With one final blow from me Emmett flew across the room, breaking the coffee table.

"Bella!" Esme began scolding, then shut her mouth promptly.

"Sorry. I'll clean it up later." I curtsied to her. She smiled again. I turned to Jasper, who was looking only at Alice. I walked over and punched him in the arm. He snarled, crouching.

"If you ever leave Alice alone that long again I will personally rip you to shreds. She never shuts up." I whined. He instantly relaxed and chuckled, although he was still sensing my discomfort. I hadn't hunted in a long time. Alice started complaining about me and I turned to Edward.

He was staring vehemently at the floor. I walked over to him and ducked my head, to try and see his eyes. He looked at me for a split second and I saw how hungry he was. He was exactly as I remembered him; perfect, god-like. He turned away from me. Obviously I was nothing but a mistake now. I would be the one reminder of his weakness, forever.

"Edward?" his name sounded strange on my tongue. He paused in his retreat. "Want to come hunting with me?"

"No." He replied and walked away. I hadn't realised I was already sad, because suddenly I was almost suicidal. Jasper panicked and tried to calm me. I pushed past him, threw the front door open and I simply began running. I was miles away before someone pinned me to the ground. I flipped over, expecting to see Alice, or Emmett. Edward was holding me to the ground, his black eyes blazing. He didn't speak, simply looked at me. My black eyes stared into his. Mine were red rimmed and his were gold rimmed, but the same hunger was there. Suddenly Jasper was there.

"Damn you two run fast." He said. Edward pulled off of me and began running back. This time I stood and ran after him. After mere seconds I pinned him. He flipped over, surprised and off guard. We both wrestled for a moment, before I – the stronger one – emerged victorious. I had his hands pinned above his head, my legs twisted around his. I was lying on top of him. To the outside observer we would probably look like two teenagers in a frisky make-out session. Edward looked nothing but resigned.

"What have I done to earn such a cold shoulder?" I asked in a small voice. Although I was physically more powerful, he was mentally older than me.

"You're the one blocking your thoughts. I can only imagine the horrible things you must be thinking about me."

"Blocking my thoughts? What makes you think I'm doing that?" I asked, letting go of his arms and legs. I was still straddling him. What a sight we were now.

"I can't hear anything from your mind." He spat. "You have to be blocking me."

"Well I'm not trying to." I stared into his black eyes for a while longer. I owed him some sliver of an explanation. "I don't blame you. I understand, to some degree, the level of control it takes to resist. I wasn't exactly the least appealing target either. I was on the worst day of my cycle and you could probably smell the blood from a mile away. Not to mention Alice said something about my blood appealing to you more than others. How can I possibly blame you?"

Edward stared up at me still.

"I bear no ill will to you or your family. If you don't want me around then I'll leave, but I like it here. Rosalie's a bitch and Emmett never shuts up, but I could see myself here for a while."

"They don't want you to leave." Edward muttered.

"So you do?" If I could've cried I would've been. "I thought so." He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off again. "I'll always be a painful reminder of your weakness won't I? Every time you look at me you'll see nothing but a mistake. There's no point in me staying if I'm to be viewed as such."

"I don't view you as that. I view myself as the monster that stole your life from you." His eyes flashed angrily. "I have stolen your family, your friends, your life from you. I am nothing but a monster and should be treated as such."

"I had no friends. My step-father found me nothing but awkward and to my father I was always the little reminder that the one woman he loved walked out on him. He loved me, but I reminded him a lot of Renee. For Pete's sake – I was nothing but a burden. Always. I couldn't walk on a flat surface without finding something to trip over. I am the sole reason the hospitals run 24/7. I am the reason the accident statistics in Phoenix were high. I have had exactly seven hundred and twelve hospital visits. I have broken bones on thirty seven different occasions, had two concussions, multiple sprains and so many cuts and burns you'd think I juggled fireballs and knives for a living." I almost laughed at the image I had just created.

"I couldn't play sports, I was above average in school, but not smart enough to skip. I have no hobbies, no talents except reading and that is hardly an achievement. I have a chance to start over now. I can actually walk without falling. There are so many things I now have the chance to do, and all the time in the world to do it. I lost a small, fractured family and gained a large weird one. You have given me quite possibly the greatest gift any human could hope for. Besides, I can see Charlie again. I know they're safe, safer now that their accident prone daughter is gone. My mother feared for the other passengers on the planes I have taken, in case my luck brought down the plane." I was chuckling now. It was much easier to talk about now. Edward was looking at me curiously.

"You are thankful that you are now a monster also?"

"You think all vampires are monsters?" The dark flash in his eyes gave me my answer.

"What about Carlisle? Esme? Alice?" There was no way he could believe that his own mother, as gentle a soul as she was, could be a monster. What about Alice, the happiest pixie on the planet? I reconsidered, thinking about the shopping she obsessed over. "Well maybe Alice is."

A half smile appeared on his lips, though his eyes were still dark.

"Perhaps." He admitted.

"Please, would you just give me a chance? A chance to prove I can be in your family?" My tone was one of a desperate child now; pleading, soft and sad.

He propped himself up on his elbows, so he was half sitting up. His face was very close to mine now. I was glad he couldn't read my mind. He was beautiful. I wanted to touch his face, run my fingers through his hair, to see if it felt as smooth as it looked. My eyes stayed locked with his. His eyes remained dark, guilt ridden and calculating.

"You will change your mind. You will end up hating me when you begin to miss the things you've mentioned. Especially your family. That will always haunt you, and thus me." He blinked a few times. "You are going to stay then?"

Oh no. The only way I would stay is if I was no inconvenience. I could make this work, I could become a part of this family, it would just take some time. There was no way in hell I would stay if every time Edward looked at me he would flinch or regret what he'd done.

"Only by your request. You are the only one with any objection. And for God's sake don't pity me. Don't tell me to stay simply because you feel guilty. The only way I will stay is if you want me to. As soon as you don't want me I am gone. You created me, you teach me. Understand?" I asked. He nodded solemnly. His face was still emotionless.

"Stay. I will decide after I get to know you. So far you have made nothing but good impressions on my family. Their thoughts are still about you, even Rosalie, although hers are simple insults. Feel lucky. Usually she thinks of nothing but herself." He half-smiled again and I smiled back.

"Wow. Uh, do you need some time alone, or can we go hunting?" Jasper asked, Alice beside him. Her expression was calculating. I looked at the position we were in and was so glad I wasn't human. If I had been, my cheeks would've been as red as a tomato.

As it was, Jasper could feel the embarrassment and Edward, could read his mind, so two of the three people watching already knew. Alice was simply observant, so she probably knew how I felt too. Edward used my moment of distraction to flip me over. He was now on top of me. Again, so glad he couldn't read my mind. He stood up, offering his hand to me.

And then my second hunt began.


	6. Forever Young

I watched Alice first. She broke the necks of her victims, then drank daintily. Jasper simply sunk his teeth into the neck, squeezing, draining the animal far too quickly. Edward was a combination of both. He drank so fast I wondered if he'd get the hiccups. Edward with the hiccups. It was a funny picture. Emmett with the hiccups was funnier. They had all finished drinking and I still hadn't moved, I was just standing there trying not to laugh.

"What are you finding so funny?" Jasper asked, exasperated. I simply turned away, trying to catch the breath I didn't need. Alice came over.

"I think she's gone insane. Wonderful." She chimed, clapping her hands.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to picture Emmett with the hiccups." I said. This got all of them laughing.

"What in God's name does that have to do with hunting?" Edward asked, not following my train of thought.

"You drink very quickly. When humans do that they get the hiccups. I was trying to picture you with the hiccups, then Emmett, and it was just funny." I tried to explain my thinking. It was a very 'left at the traffic lights' **(A/N – Eddie Izzard quote!) **sort of thought trail. Alice chuckled though.

"No wonder Edward can't read your mind. It's positively convoluted."

Edward had to feed again and I hadn't even fed once, so we split off first. He led me away, saying that I may enjoy the predators more. I set my sights on a mountain lion, while he watched, wanting to know my tactic. As I began moving forward, my nose caught the scent of something else. Something far more appealing. I turned instantly, following the smell. I heard Edward call my name once, before I was completely out of my mind.

Nothing mattered except the glorious scent. It smelled of warm bread, baking I supposed, the most delicious smell I had ever encountered. I was drawn to it. I closed down on it, only to begin hearing human voices nearby. They didn't matter, all I wanted was the scent. And then something clicked in my head. They _were_ the scent. It almost didn't matter, except I could hear another vampire close by. I turned, ready to defend my prize and my eyes met a pair of gold ones. Edward's eyes. He looked resigned again, as if he expected this. He was here to steal my prey. I couldn't allow that.

I crouched snarling at him and he stood, serene, unattacking, with fear in his eyes. He was afraid of me. I was a monster. I could do better than this. I had done so with Charlie, what made these men so different? They had families and lives. Edward shouldn't be scared of me. I didn't want to be dangerous.

I turned and ran away, away from the glorious scent and back to where I remembered the mountain lion was. I had to feed soon. The pain was becoming unbearable. I kept my breathing halted and simply looked for it. As soon as I saw it I pounced. I broke its neck and began to drink greedily. Anything to keep my mind away from the hikers.

After the lion, which tasted much better than the deer, was dead, I heard Edward come up behind me.

"How the hell did you do that?" he asked, crouching, his voice low and in awe.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Run? Run away from the scent. Mid hunt, you simply stopped. It's difficult for us and we've been around a hell of a lot longer than you have."

"I just thought about what I was doing. Honestly if you hadn't have stopped me I would've attacked." I mumbled sheepishly. I felt so weak. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snarl at you and get so angry."

"Are you kidding? Jasper would've ripped my arms off before he stopped." He paused and stuck his hand in his hair. "I'm shocked you were able to stop at all." I looked at the dead mountain lion and back up at Edward.

"What do we do with the carcasses?" I asked. What an odd question. It sounded so stupid out loud.

"Usually? Leave them. If you're closer to a town then you'd bury them." He leaned against a tree. His eyes looked much better gold than they did black. He looked incredible. Like the god I remembered him to be, the first day I had seen him.

He wasn't dirty, unlike me, his hair was in the casual disarray I remembered. He looked like he was studying me. His eyes were still shadowed, he was still haunted by what he had done to me. Honestly, so was I – but since I couldn't do anything to change it, I thought I may as well accept it.

Edward and I walked home together, calmly and silently. It was as if both of us wanted to say things, but couldn't. It took us a while to walk home, but still neither of us had spoken. I pushed my sadness back, trying to keep a positive attitude.

When we got home I found Emmett and Jasper watching one of my favourite movies, so I jumped across the sofa, curling up on their laps. Rose immediately left the couch she was on, pushing my legs off of Emmett's lap and sitting there instead. Emmett mouthed 'sorry' to me and I chuckled.

Edward came in a few moments later, looking at me nestled in Jasper's lap. Alice hopped in and sat _on_ me, making me laugh. I let her sit there as we watched the rest of the movie. Edward never sat down. I gave a look to Alice, my eyes asking if he was always like this. She nodded once. I had probably only made it worse by being here at all. I started to get very sad as I thought of all the trouble I had caused. Soon enough Jasper was looking confusedly at me. I simply stared adamantly at the television. When the movie was finished I took off, pushing Alice off first, and going to sit in my room.

I hunted around for the iPod, then remembered that it wasn't mine and that I had left it in Edward's room where it belonged. As I walked calmly to his room I heard him talking to the others downstairs. The others were obviously replying mentally because I only heard half of the conversation. It made him sound insane.

"She stopped."

"Just stopped. She held her breath and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction. She found a lion instead and drained her."

"Two men, they smelled good for humans too. Their heart rates were sped up also, as they had obviously been hiking or cycling or something."

"She's done this before? You said she wasn't hunting."

"Her father I can understand though, some connection could have overruled the urge to kill." I flinched at the sound of that.

"That would've been interesting to see. He truly believed she was..." he trailed off.

"No I'm not lying; you'd be able to feel it. She simply stopped. Her control is incredible."

Great – I was a freak amongst freaks. I clamped my hands over my ears and walked into his room, searching for the stupid iPod. He had relocated it since he had been home. His room looked identical, except for a small leather notebook he had resting on the black leather couch. I picked it up curious. He didn't seem like the type to own a journal. I opened it and sheets of musical notes were revealed. I hummed one of the simpler tunes slowly, trying to remember the sounds of notes and relate them to the dots on the paper.

"You shouldn't snoop." A velvet voice sounded from the corner. I flinched. What was I to say now? The truth, however bluntly put would probably be best.

"Actually I was coming to steal from you. I was looking for your iPod." I admitted. His golden eyes bore into mine as he moved his muscular body further into the room. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small object, letting it dangle from his fingers. I stared at it, knowing that had I been human my cheeks would've been red. I wondered if he knew I had been using it previously. I kept my eyes on the object as it slowly stopped moving. Edward was holding perfectly still, as if waiting for me to say something.

"I've heard you're the one I need to thank for setting up all of my CDs. Thank you, for keeping them in the same order, it's always time consuming when I have to rearrange them after my siblings have tried to reorganize them." He eventually said, his voice low and controlled. It still had an undertone of pity and guilt.

"I figured out that you organized them by year. After that I couldn't figure out the sub-category." I replied, trying to be calm.

"Personal favourites within that year." He replied, still focused on me. I put the book back on the couch where I'd found it. I held out my hand for the iPod.

"May I please borrow your iPod?" I asked quietly. He threw it to me. I caught it open handed, afraid that if I grabbed for it I would crush it.

"You can keep it if it pleases you. I only listen to it when I'm hunting alone. According to my siblings you're too much fun to let any of them alone long enough to be bored." How was that possible? I thought I had done nothing but sulk. They hadn't yet seen me hyper.

It could get interesting. What would it take to get me hyper? Usually, some pumped up music, and an adrenaline rush. I could settle for one of the two, I knew exactly where the rock section on Edward's iPod was. Alice would be the easiest to get hyper; she was already stuck in overdrive. Emmett wouldn't be too far behind. Rosalie and Jasper would be harder. Esme and Carlisle weren't home currently.

I left his room and went to my own spinning slowly while I worked myself up to being hyper. I tried to remember what sugar rushes felt like, holding onto that feeling, that buzz.

I found a few of the rock songs and immersed myself in them. Soon enough I was bubbling. I went and found Alice and she picked up on my mood faster than Jasper could've. Instantly we were dancing together. Jasper appeared and stole his wife. Emmett came in and took me as a dance partner. Rose soon enough swept him away from me. I was now dancing alone. I placed my hands on an invisible partner.

"Steve, meet the gang. Everyone meet Steve." I chuckled Emmett held his hand out to my invisible partner and pretended to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you Steve."

Alice laughed. "Pleasure." She nodded to the air.

We were all dancing around again when I suddenly squeaked. I was hyper and wanted to do something ridiculous.

"Keep your hands to yourself Steve."

"He did what?" Emmett let go of Rose to roll up his sleeves, threateningly, trying to contain the huge grin on his face.

I pretended to let go of Steve and wouldn't stop laughing as Emmett proceeded to tell Steve off. If I had been human my eyes would've been brimming with tears. Emmett went back to Rose as Steve promised to behave, (apparently).

Soon after I noticed Edward standing at the door watching me sadly. Now we had even numbers, but he wasn't offering to dance. Steve grabbed my but again, (at least in my head), and I slapped him hard. Yelling at him to get out. Emmett was guffawing with laughter, and Jasper was chuckling blackly. Edward cracked a smile. I pretended to be sad.

"Now I have no one to dance with." I looked pointedly at Edward who frowned and walked forward slightly. He held out his hands and I practically jumped into his arms, until we were all dancing. Edward was searching my face, my eyes, for something. I stared back adamantly, wanting to keep the happiness alive for a little. We were so intently focused on each other that we hadn't noticed the others leave. Edward stopped dancing, but didn't let go of me.

"I can't figure you out." He whispered to me.

"What is there to figure?" I asked just as quietly.

"You don't seem offended by my presence at all, I who so violently stole your life from you."

"Are we going to go over this again?" I asked rolling my eyes. He didn't move. "Edward, I do not blame you, I hold no grudge. Your family hasn't been able to actually have fun in a long while, thanks to you and I." He opened his mouth to say something, but I pressed my fingers to his lips, ignoring the electricity that shot through me.

"I don't know about you, but I didn't spend my human years sulking around. Why should the vampire years be any different? If anything it should be better. All the things we can do. Ever have snowball fights?" I asked. He nodded.

"Snow mobile races?" He shook his head.

"Snowmen making competitions? Ice carving competitions? Swimming races? Have you ever just sat down and had a movie night? Ever played Marco Polo? Hide and seek? Edward, just because we're different physically doesn't mean you are forbidden to have fun." My eyes pleaded with him.

His topaz eyes bore into mine again and I swear at that moment he could see straight into my soul. We stared at each other and I could see something changing. His eyes seemed to get lighter, the frown decreased as he stared. I knew that my smile was growing at the same rate his frown was fading.


	7. All Revved Up with No Place to Go

We continued staring at each other, trying to rip the secrets from each other's eyes for the longest time. Eventually I was smiling completely, and Edward's frown had nearly completely dissipated. He looked much more handsome when he wasn't brooding and guilt-ridden.

"Um, good evening?" Carlisle's voice came from the door. Edward and I looked at him and Esme. I realised exactly what position we had been caught in. Our bodies were pressed against each other, his hands on my waist, from the dance. One of my hands was on his arm, the other was pressed over his mouth. Our faces were inches apart. We shot away from each other faster than light traveled.

"Good evening." Edward replied, recovering faster than I had, walking slowly towards his parents. "How was your day?"

"Dare I ask?" Esme probed, smiling. She was looking at me, and I was trying to keep an indifferent face on.

"Edward saved me from being molested." I replied, keeping a straight face. Edward's eyes flashed with humour before he nodded seriously.

"Steve was getting out of line, even with Emmett's warning I didn't like his thoughts. Any gentleman should know to keep his hands to himself." His tone was deadly serious, even slightly angry, making him incredibly believable. I would never play poker with this man. I smiled and looked at Edward gratefully.

"Thankfully Edward stepped in before Steve could come back, so I was saved from future harassment." I bounded up the stairs, Edward beside me, as our bodies began to erupt in laughter.

"If he comes back, warn me." He said seriously, though his face was one huge smirk. Obviously we had confused Esme and Carlisle.

"Steve? Who the _hell_ is Steve and what was he doing here?" Esme called instantly. Edward and I split off into our rooms as we heard the others laughing along with us in the various locations of the house. I could've sworn even Rosalie let a giggle loose. Esme was still confused, far into the night, as none of us would crack. Eventually she just gave up.

The next few days, Edward seemed less gloomy, even if he was still quiet. I tried to put into effect a few of the suggestions I had given Edward. It started with the snow mobile racing. Alice had bought them as soon as she heard the words come out of my mouth. Seven beautiful snowmobiles lay outside and I looked at the path she had marked out for us to race on. After a quick lesson in how to run the thing, Emmett and I were ready.

We sat on them, wearing only jeans, t-shirts and light jackets. It was all we needed, we couldn't exactly catch hypothermia. Alice had chosen a trail for us to race on. The path was only big enough for two snowmobiles at a time, the others would judge. The races were all close, though I was more daring with my machine and beat Emmett and Alice and Jasper in the three races I had with them. Edward and Rose managed to beat me. I couldn't be sure, but I almost saw a smile on Edward's face, as Rosalie was yelling at him for cheating.

"He never smiles. Good work Bella." Jasper whispered to me. Edward must've heard it through his thoughts, because soon enough a huge snowball fight was taking place.

Emmett threw the largest snowball I had ever seen. It buried me completely when it hit me. I sat in the snow, marvelling at the coolness of it. I was completely surrounded by the substance. I was surrounded by white and cold, and could hear Emmett's laughter, muffled by the thick layer of snow. I decided to tunnel down, into the layers of snow beneath me, feeling like bugs bunny, I made my way away from the snow ball. I dug upwards and found myself behind them all. Alice turned and winked at me, before crouching before the snowball.

"Bella, we're sorry. Emmett didn't know you'd get offended." The pile of snow was massive, and everyone, except Alice, was assuming that I was concealed inside, having a temper tantrum or something similar.

"Apologize you idiot. I don't want her sulking again." Rosalie said to her husband. He kneeled down before the snowball.

"Bella?" he asked timidly.

Jasper must've felt my mirth because he looked back and smiled. Edward saw it through his head because he turned to watch me. Alice had backed off too. Now it was just Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie rolled her eyes as Emmett fumbled with words. She turned and saw me, her jaw dropping in shock. We all held fingers up to our mouths, begging her silence. She seemed to think it was amusing too, because she turned to watch Emmett as he apologized to the pile of snow.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, you just looked like you needed a good bashing. Don't be angry with me. I'll let you beat me next time." His voice was so smooth, pleading and gentle. He honestly looked lost as he crouched there, running his hands through his hair.

Carlisle and Esme appeared... what impeccable timing these two had.

"Why are you apologizing to a pile of snow Emmett?" Carlisle asked. Emmett must've looked insane.

"I offended it. I mean Bella."

Carlisle turned to me. "Oh dear. We appear to have inherited another practical joker."

Emmett turned around and saw me. And then the game began again, Emmett taking special interest in trying to defeat me. He threw the snow at such a fast rate it looked like a mini avalanche was occurring. Alice was deadly too, never getting hit by anyone, except some very close calls thrown by Edward. Rosalie was the one person no one wanted to throw at, because they were all afraid of what she would do.

The first snowball that hit her was from me and she turned, glaring at me. I bit my lip and jumped behind Edward, hiding myself. I crouched behind him, holding onto his legs to keep him where he was. He smirked and began protecting me from her wrath.

Carlisle was the one to watch out for though. He would start throwing in one direction, then turn and whip the snow at someone else. He made no exceptions; everyone was the enemy. Edward and I were the only ones really not hitting each other. Esme noticed this and started throwing more snowballs at me.

Edward in turn, became more protective. He told me that he was on my 'team' which had so far consisted of myself and Steve really. He was really good at both aiming and dodging. He even managed to catch a few thrown at us and return them. I got in a few good throws too. By the time the sun had set we were all covered in snow and laughing, except Edward, who was gently chuckling. At least it was something.

He and the other guys roughhoused for a bit and us girls cheered them on. I watched as Edward played along, noting that he never really let go, he never truly laughed or smiled completely. Had his life been so depressing to him that he found no positive aspects in the world. I could name three now.

The sunset – the beautiful reds and greens, combined with the black, bare branches of the trees and the dark greens of the evergreens, and the sparkling white of the snow.

The family – we were all covered in snow, smiling from ear to ear (all except Edward and I) and enjoying the moment.

Love – there was so much of it evident in our surroundings now. Alice and Jasper were so connected. A simple touch between them was so intimate that I felt intrusive if I saw it. Esme and Carlisle were standing together, not touching, but obviously together. Rose was watching Emmett wrestle with Edward, and although her expression was haughty, her eyes were full of adoration.

Edward obviously saw none of this, saw no reason to laugh, to enjoy what had happened and what was happening around him. I would make him laugh. I wanted to see him laugh, especially after all the pain I'd put him through. I'd make him laugh if it took eternity.

We spent the next little while having nothing but pure fun.

During the days I would read and do homework from a few textbooks I had found. In this time, Esme was working somewhere – renovating a mansion or something. The Cullen 'kids' were mostly out, shopping, partying, hunting etc, except Edward, who seemed to think it was his duty to stay with me. We were rarely in the same room as each other, but he was there. It was both comforting and annoying.

At night we would find fun things to do, movies, games etc. The dart games were funny. The dartboard was set up a football-field away and we were trying to hit the bull's-eye, surprisingly, we actually did well. Only one of mine even missed the small board, and not by much. As a human I stayed away from such games, fearing the lives of those around me if I were to throw such a sharp object.

Edward and Carlisle were the best at it though, so much so that eventually they were the only two competing. Carlisle and Edward were both completely engaged in the game. It was incredibly beautiful, watching the two of them concentrate. Carlisle would raise an eyebrow as he focused, always throwing his arm back in quick precise motions and the dart would bury itself into the board.

Edward was... well, _hot_. His face remained impassive and his throws were almost lazy, his arm following through perfectly each time. The dart would land in the board perfectly, never too deep, never too shallow. For someone who claimed he didn't do this, he was extremely fantastic at doing this.

Suddenly something small with multiple legs crawled across my hand and I whimpered. Edward's shot, the one that would've been the tie-breaker, didn't even reach the dart board. He looked over to me, concerned, and I was frozen, holding my breath and trying not to scream. The insect or whatever it was still crawling around on my hand.

Irrational fear.

Irrational fear.

I tried to keep convincing myself of this fact and was failing miserably.

Edward realised what was wrong and knelt down beside me. His eyes met mine and suddenly I felt very safe again.

"What are you afraid of Bella?" he asked. I took a deep shaky breath before opening my lips to whisper the words.

"The bug."

"What bug?" he asked, smiling. I looked down to my hand and the bug was gone, completely. I hadn't even felt him remove it, although I knew that he did. I heard a slight crunch, followed by him wiping his palm on his jeans as he walked away, muttering about missing the shot.

He must have thought me ever so childish. Emmett was laughing at Edward whilst Jasper was looking curiously at me and Edward. Esme was congratulating her husband and Alice and Rosalie were whispering quietly to each other. I stared at my hands. It was my fault Edward had lost the game. He was probably going to win, but thanks to my stupid and irrational phobia, I was now to blame for his current bad mood.


	8. Good Girls Go To Heaven

A day after that incident, I was trying to work out a difficult parabolic function, whilst sitting in the dining room with Edward. It had been translated, reflected, stretched and compressed, inverted and doubled in both the x and y axes and I wasn't even sure if it was a function anymore. I was going around in circles, trying to figure out what to do with it. Eventually I gave up, slamming the book onto the table. Edward looked up from the leather notebook he had been writing in. His music book.

"Something wrong?"

"I can't figure out the question." I sighed. He came over and sat beside me, working through it with me, until I understood what it was supposed to look like. He even gave me a few more examples, to practice on. After only an hour of him tutoring me I was confident enough to finish the entire chapter. How oddly I responded to him.

He still seemed to feel guilty. He was always hovering, trying to help out when he could, trying, I assumed, to make up in some small way for what he did to me. I didn't mind. I had started developing my own notions and feelings about him.

One of the days was particularly boring. I had turned on my iPod, to block out the noises Rose and Emmett were making from their room. Esme and Alice were debating colour schemes in the kitchen, while I was sitting the dining room again. It was peaceful there, calm and rarely used. Carlisle and Jasper were hunting. I had no idea where Edward was, but my gut told me that he wasn't far.

A few pages of Trigonometry, calculus, French, Spanish, English, history, and geography later, I was bored and wanting to do something. I helped Esme with the decorating, as did the others. Jasper and Emmett preferred to do the 'heavy lifting' even though we could've all done it, me especially so. I was pretty sure I could lift the house if I wanted to. I stood, staring at the wall, trying to picture that, when Edward's voice sounded behind me.

"Did you forget how to paint?" he asked. I looked at my hand. It was covered in paint droplets, from the brush I had been holding to the wall. Holding, but not moving.

"No, I was just thinking about whether or not I'd be strong enough to lift the house." I shrugged away the thought, only to hear a cough from Edward. It looked like he was trying to conceal a laugh.

"Oh you think that's funny do you?" I asked, chucking the paintbrush at him. He didn't expect that. It hit his dark blue shirt and left pale yellow spots all over the shirt and splattered up part of his neck. A single drop was on his cheekbone. I bit my lip, after realising what I had just done. Despite the silliness, he still looked hot. His eyes flashed, almost angrily for a moment.

Before I knew what had hit me, the paintbrush had splattered me with paint also. I calmly clicked my tongue and sat down, pretending to be embarrassed. My hand inconspicuously slid into the paint tray.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." I said, looking like I was about to cry. Edward knelt beside me, a frown on his face.

"You didn't – I was just..." he started to explain, but my hand – as if of its own accord - ran itself through his hair, down the side of his face and then pulled away, patting his dark black jeans. The yellow looked ridiculous and Edward was nothing short of completely shocked.

God what had I done? Surely he would never forgive me. Toppled with the fear and regret was an immense desire. I was trying to stay calm, but his hair had felt so soft, I wanted to touch it again. A wicked glint came into his eyes.

"You didn't." He said, growling. I backed away, unsure if he was playing or actually angry. He began to crawl towards me, menacingly and I backed up into the wall. He then smirked and stopped his advance. What? As I began to move I felt the gentle tug on my hair. Wet paint. He had backed me into a wall of wet paint. How evil.

"Steve, get him." I muttered.

And it happened.

Edward laughed.

It sounded like the laugh of a dozen angels, as his ethereal voice resounded around the acoustically perfect room. My breath caught as I smiled. I had gotten him to crack. I was so glad I had. Only a week had passed since I had sworn to get him to laugh.

We had watched movies, talked a little about some books and he had graciously tutored me through the homework I was subjecting myself to. He had always seemed distant, still anguished about his mistake. Finally, with three little words I had made him laugh. Alice and Esme came running into the room, to see what on earth had Edward laughing. I pulled myself away from the wall and tried to imagine how we looked now. I curtsied to Edward as his laughing quieted down to a simple crooked smile. What I wouldn't give to see that smile again.

"I need a shower." I said. I was instantly rewarded with another crooked smile.

"So do I apparently."

I let the warm water engulf me as I tried hopelessly to get the paint out of my hair. Alice came in a few moments later, offering her services. It took our combined efforts and ten more rinses to get it all out, and I wasn't quite sure that we even had it completely out. Alice assured me that none of my hair was yellow anymore.

Edward was having the same trouble apparently, except no one was helping him. I sighed, feeling guilty and found a pair of black boxers from the bags of shopping Alice had recently brought home. I had no idea who they were supposed to be going to, but I knew who was going to end up in them. I took them upstairs with me and entered the bathroom where Edward was showering. My eyes were firmly closed as I threw the boxers at him.

"What the-?"

"Put 'em on. It'll be safer if you're the one covered. With my eyes closed there's no telling where my hands could stray." Purposely or not.

"What are you doing?" he sounded angry. I could top that.

"Feeling guilty. Put the damn boxers on or God help me I'll just come in there and not care." I heard the fabric being picked up from the floor of the shower. I assumed he put them on because he resumed questioning.

"Why are you coming in here at all?"

"I messed up your hair. It took two people to get all the paint out of my hair, and since none of your siblings have rushed to your aid and I am the one who put the paint there..." I was interrupted by a harsh laugh, it sounded almost strained. Not the right kind of laugh.

"You have nothing to worry about."

I opened my eyes and went over to him, sliding the door back a little. Thankfully he had put the boxers on. I grabbed his shampoo from him and poured it over my hands. He looked at me incredulously. I simply half stepped into the shower and turned him around, focusing only on his paint soaked hair. He had gotten about half of it out, but I got nearly all of it out, within a minute of standing there. I had to try and focus strictly on his hair. It took conscious effort not to run my fingers over his beautifully muscled back, where my eyes wanted to absorb every inch of him. I focused on the paint, until I had the majority of it out.

"Done." I said and shoved my hands into the stream of water. I washed off the shampoo and retreated quickly, before he could say anything. I dried off my hands and looked at my half wet half dry clothing. Gosh I was ambitious now. Had I been human I would never have gone near a naked boy, let alone protested when he tried to throw me out.

The feeling of bravery was probably Jasper's doing. Wait – Jasper was hunting. Had I done all of that? My emotions were approaching mortified as I sat in my room, until a quiet knock sounded on my door. It wasn't Alice, her knocks were fast, and she opened before you had a chance to respond. Jasper's knocks were always calm and rhythmic, Esme's were gentle and rapid. Carlisle simply asked, Emmett would barge in and Rosalie wouldn't even be visiting, so it had to be Edward. Great, more chances to make an idiot of myself.

"Yes Edward?" I turned towards the door. He entered, clothed and mostly dry. He was frowning slightly, but smiling a little also. Sheepish. That was how he looked.

"Thank you. Were it not for you that would've taken ages to get out."

"Were it not for me, you wouldn't have had to get it out in the first place." I smiled back. He hesitated for a moment before looking at my pile of untouched schoolwork.

"Is that Emmett's homework?"

"Yes. Care to help me? I can't figure left or right of the trig." Edward came in and picked up one of the books. His eyes scanned the text briefly, before coming to rest on me. I was sitting on my bed, hands in my lap, staring at him. A thousand thoughts crossed my mind. Some that probably shouldn't have.

Edward was still looking at me and I was sitting on my bed, thinking about touching his hair again, seeing his perfect body glistening with water. I was so glad I wasn't human. The telltale blush would've ruined everything at this point. I motioned to the bed and he sat, perching himself on the side, as if ready to make a quick getaway.

"I don't have fleas." I muttered. He frowned and chuckled again.

"You never say what I expect. Maybe I can't read your mind because, as Alice said, it's convoluted."

I shrugged and pointed to a few questions in the book he was holding. He pulled himself farther onto the bed and I moved beside him, so that we could both see the questions. He walked me through a few of them, and once confident that I was getting them I stole the book from him. My hand flew across a piece of lined paper as I worked out the math. I didn't usually need a calculator. I stopped at one of the questions. It was both a radical and a decimal. I tried to work it through, a few times but couldn't.

"Thirteen point zero, sixty-five, eighty-two." Edward mumbled. I looked up at him and he was just sitting there, watching me work. Again, glad I couldn't blush. I'm sure that my face portrayed some level of embarrassment though because he smiled.

"You're...interesting when you work. You talk to yourself, and bite your lip." As if by command my lip shoved itself into my mouth.

"Well we can't all be perfect." I muttered, not letting go of my lip.

His eyes flashed darkly and he got up, leaving the room, pausing, only to mutter; "I'm far from perfect."

He was still punishing himself for what he did to me. How could I ever get him to see that I was actually happy? A little sad that I'd left Charlie and Renee, but I really liked my new family. What could I do in the next few days to cheer them up? What did I used to like doing when I was human? Reading. Listening to music. Fantasising about things I couldn't do... As soon as the idea entered my mind I heard Alice squeal.

"Gosh I love you Bella!" She screamed and only seconds later I heard her car pull out of the driveway. I resumed my work, only to find that my mind was elsewhere now. I was – what was the word? – antsy. I wanted to do something. I stood up and vaulted down the stairs, marvelling at my balance. Balance. I could test my balance. I found a spot outside and tried some simple things I had been barely able to do when I was younger. It started with a simple somersault. Then a cartwheel. And another. Then I tried a handstand. I was perfectly balanced, completely upside down, not wobbling an inch. And I was perfectly comfortable. I tentatively raised one hand, so that I was balancing on one limb. I kept expecting to topple over at any minute, but I didn't.

I took a deep breath and then switched hands. I wasn't quite as good with my left hand. I wobbled a fractional amount, focusing on my balance, well aware that my shirt was now riding up my stomach (or down my stomach, depending on what direction you were looking from) and that it had started to snow lightly. Could I do flips? How to do that without making a complete idiot of myself?

"What are you doing?"


	9. Original Sin

I fell in surprise, seeing the ground head towards me in slow motion. A pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and my motion stopped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you so."

Edward let go of me and I rolled myself back into an upright position. I turned to see him looking at me with a confused and amused expression.

"I was testing my balance. I never had much of it as a human and I was curious. Can you do back flips and stuff?" I asked. He chuckled again. Close, but not quite the sound I wanted to hear.

"I can yes." He looked at me thoughtfully. "Would you like me to teach you?" A smile flitted across my face instantly.

If anything, it was difficult and fun. Edward demonstrated how to perform certain tricks, and would then guide my body through them, his hands always touching my arms or legs for the briefest of moments. Whenever I lost focus and started to fall, or finish incorrectly, his hands would grab my waist, steadying me, until I regained my balance. When the snow began to pick up and the others arrived home, Edward and I finally called it a day.

"Can I try them all tomorrow?" I asked excitedly. He smiled the crooked smile of his.

"Of course. I'd have thought you'd be bored of it by now. We've been at it for a few hours."

"Nope. Today I am ecstatically happy." It was true. I bounded around, looking for something to do, until Edward suggested that we go hunting. I wasn't really thirsty but I agreed anyway. Something, anything. Edward and I raced to where he had pointed on the map. He won, but only by a second. When we got there I scooped up a handful of snow, quickly hitting him hard in the head with it. The fluffy white clung to his copper locks as he turned and stared at me.

"Again you provoke me?"

"No paint this time, just you against Steve and I." I replied stripping off my coat. We only wore warmer clothes for appearances, all it did was slow us down. He pulled off his coat too, circling, crouched.

"Two against one is hardly fair." He chuckled, his gold eyes twinkling. I had never seen him look so carefree.

"Well make up your own friend." I teased, brushing my hair away from my face. Edward straightened and held out his hand to the air.

"Bella... I would like you to meet... Cinnia, my invisible sister." He bowed his head to the air beside me, as I curtsied to the air beside him. We were now evenly matched.

"Let the games begin." And so they did. We fought viciously, pelting each other with snow. Edward and Cinnia were winning. He was much faster than I was, but not as fast as I had seen him with the others, obviously he needed the advantage of reading the other's minds to completely win. Soon enough he started to learn my attacks and began to mould his own attack from it. So I ran, just as he was about to win.

He bolted after me, pinning me into the snow. As we both landed, fountains of snow were thrown into the air. To an onlooker it would've probably looked as though a meteor had hit. We rolled, and I could feel the snow binding itself to my hair in clumps as I could see it sticking to his hair. I smashed his back into a tree and we stopped. We were both laughing hard. The sound of his laugh was pure music to my ears.

"And that is how you pin somebody." I laughed.

"You must teach me that move." He replied, the grin still plastered on his face.

"You teach me how to do the rest of those flips and I will teach you how to do that." I felt exuberant. I rested my head against his chest as my breathing slowed. Although we didn't need the oxygen we still increased and decreased our breathing rates according to what we were doing. His breathing slowed too and soon we both stood up, brushing the snow off of each other. I tried shaking my hair out, but it was quite tangled. His looked no better.

"Once you get inside the house it'll all melt, and your hair will be back to being just as cu-" he faltered for a millionth of a second. "Curly as it always is."

I could've sworn he was about to say cute. When we got inside I went to get changed. My clothes were slowly becoming wetter as the snow melted. I pulled on a simple sweater and a pair of pyjama bottoms. I didn't need them, but they were way too comfortable, and cute. These ones had cartoon bats all over them, something I found too funny to resist. I went to Edward's room, knocking gingerly.

"Come in?" he asked. I entered and nearly fell over backwards. Edward was standing, with his shirt off, in a fresh pair of jeans, a new shirt in his hand. It took every ounce of strength I possessed to force my eyes to lock with his.

"I was wondering if you had any suggestions as to something we could do for the rest of the day." I vehemently stared into his ochre eyes. He stared right back and I instantly wished that my red irises were gold instead.

"I usually do nothing. You might care to ask my siblings for suggestions." He shrugged. I frowned.

"Surely you do something in your free time. Come on, do you study music?" I asked motioning to the hundreds of CDs. He smirked.

"I play a few instruments."

"Like what?" I watched his gaze flicker down to my pyjama pants and a small smile tugged at his lips.

"Why are you wearing those?" he asked, instead of answering my question.

"Because I can't walk around half naked." I answered, pretending to be oblivious. "Like what?" I repeated.

"The piano, flute, some guitar. I meant why are you wearing pyjamas?"

"Because I don't see the point in wearing good clothing all the time. Besides, I thought these were cu-" I stopped, until I decided to see if I had made the previous assumption correctly. "Curly."

His head ducked as he smiled. I repressed a girlish squeal of happiness. I must've been hanging around Alice too long. He _had_ meant to say cute. He thought my hair was cute? Did that mean he liked me, he didn't regret having me around? I forced myself to calm down.

"So the piano downstairs is yours? Could you teach me to play?" I asked. It was something to do. Besides, I'd always wanted to learn. As a human I had bad co-ordination and wouldn't have done it very well. As a vampire, perhaps my luck would change. Edward smiled and motioned for me to go.

I flew down the stairs, stopping before the beautiful instrument. I only knew how to play two songs. One I think every child knew 'Mary had a Little Lamb' and the other I had learned to play by ear, simply because I wanted to. I sat down and tried to focus on the keys. Moonlight Sonata slowly stumbled its way from my fingers. Before I knew it, Edward's hands were correcting mine. He pushed one hand against the small of my back.

"Sit up." He commanded. I did. He gently tapped my knee.

"Legs uncrossed." He commanded. I placed my feet flat on the floor. We could both hear Emmett laughing at that statement. It made me chuckle. Edward's hands moved to my shoulders cutting off my laugh.

"Shoulders back and relaxed." I instantly relaxed under his hands, feeling a remarkable warmth spread through me at his touch.

"Control your breathing, let it flow with the pace of the music." I responded as he told me to. Soon enough he sat beside me on the piano stool, watching my hands. He stilled their movement with his hands.

"This piece ranges between here," he pointed to a key close to him, "and here." He pointed to a key closer to me. "Spread your hands evenly between the two, never let one dominate the keys, or you'll find your hands colliding, or trying to reach too many keys at once." Edward was more relaxed than I had ever seen him.

We continued like that for a few hours, far past the time Carlisle got home from work. Most of the family kept dropping by, simply to listen to what we were doing. Edward and I went through various pieces, I learned the notes as he led me through, teaching me how to read the sheet music. Whenever I would make a mistake he would simply smile and encourage me to continue. By the end of the night I could play two dozen of Chopin's pieces and a few of Beethoven's. I hardly realised we had been at it for so long, when suddenly, the others were leaving for school and work.

"Tonight, we're going out Bella." Alice said.

"Okay." I shrugged. I could practice the piano or something with Edward. Oh, wait. "By we you mean Edward's leaving too?" For some reason Alice chuckled.

"Yes. He's coming to keep an eye on you."

It took a few seconds for the words to click.

"I'm going out? Not hunting, just out?" I asked with a smile. Alice nodded, practically bouncing in joy. I jumped up, squeezing her enthusiastically. Edward chuckled from behind me. He stood and began to leave and I stopped him, placing my hand on his arm.

"You knew and you didn't tell me?" I asked, glaring. He smiled and picked up one of my hands, gently touching his lips to it.

"It was my idea." And then he left. Which was just as well, because I was finding it very hard to breathe. Alice saw my expression and squealed, suddenly muttering something determinedly in what sounded like German.

She left, handing me a note.

_Explore your closet. Look for something that you'd wear on a first date to a moderately expensive restaurant. _

_Alice_

Oh dear. I opened my closet and winced immediately. The smells of fresh fabrics hit me and I quietly perused through what apparently were my clothes. What would I wear on a first date to a moderately expensive restaurant? There were a few things I needed to know, which I didn't. First; what would you wear on a first date, second; what did Alice consider 'moderately expensive'?

I weaseled my way away from jeans and found a simple, knee length black skirt. Black could be worn anywhere right? Skirts could be dressed up and down, that much Renee had taught me. A distant stab of pain shot through me at her name. So I had a skirt. Now what? I found hangers upon hangers of shirts, in varying colours, styles, sparkliness, textures and costs. I needed serious help. I skipped out of my room and knocked on Edward's door. He opened it, a book in his hand. I recognized it instantly. Wuthering Heights.

"I love that book." I bent my head around to find what part he was at, and then shook myself away from it – I had come here for a reason. "Sorry, I had a question. What does Alice consider 'moderately expensive'?"

Edward blinked in surprise.

"I didn't know she thought anything could be expensive. I didn't know she knew that there was such a thing." He chuckled. I was lost in his laughter and his deep golden eyes. "In what context is she referring?"

"An outfit for whatever we're doing tonight." I shrugged. He smiled.

"Need help with that?" he asked. I immediately sensed a possible game.

"Help? What do you think I'm incapable of choosing out an outfit by myself? For heaven's sake I haven't been able to do anything around here by myself, must you dress me now also? Did the pyjama bottoms convince you that I was somehow childish or immature in some way?" As I said the words I saw his expression turn to worry and horror instantly.

"No I wasn't inferring that at all." I could see he was trying to back-track and immediately lost my composure. The face I had put on so seriously was now replaced by a huge laugh.

"You are way too easy to mess with Edward." I giggled. He sighed, resting his head in his hands.

"Will I ever get the hang of you?"

"Learn to speak Bella." I suggested. "I learned how to speak Edward."

"Oh really?"

"Indeed. Bella is a much more complicated language however."

"I'd say. You never do what I expect you to. At times you seem more mature than even Carlisle, a man six hundred years older than yourself, and at others, you are a perfect match for Emmett's randomness and childishness. Is there no end to your complexity?" he asked, leaning on the doorframe.

"I hope not. Endless day would be incredibly boring otherwise." I said. His eyes darkened slightly as they held mine. I wondered what he really thought of me. Did he think of me as a sibling, or as something more? Did he think of me as a child he had to train, a mistake?

At times he seemed so reserved about being near me, but at others it seemed as though all he wanted to do was be near me, protect me. Despite my claim of being able to 'speak Edward' he was just as difficult to read as he claimed me to be.

"Would you like my help?" he asked. Help? Help with what? Understanding him? How had he read my mind? Then it clicked – he meant with my closet.

"Yes please. Since you know where we're going you can save me from being too over-dressed or underdressed." I pulled Edward along gently by the hand, biting my lip. Suddenly I felt very shy. When I stopped in my closet I looked back at Edward. He was staring at our entwined hands with an unreadable expression.

I dropped his hand hurriedly. Was he offended? He looked up at me and smiled slightly, a crooked smile. He, ever so gently, took my hand back in his and turned his attention to my wardrobe. A feeling of immense happiness suddenly seeped through me.

"What colours are your favourite? Pinks, purples?" he suggested.

"That would be Alice."

"Reds? Metallic?"

"Rosalie."

"Yellow? Green?"

"Esme." I laughed. He seemed to be purposefully dancing around my favourite colours.

"Blue? Black?" He laughed.

"You win!"

It took most of the hour, picking out outfits for both of us. He let me help him, once I'd been given a general price range. My shirt was a royal blue, off the shoulders, that clung to my waist, the fabric ruffling slightly. It went perfectly with the black skirt I had chosen. Edward helped me pick out a pair of shoes too; a pair of black heels that, had I been human, I would never have chosen. I still had no clue as to where we were going. I picked out an emerald green button up shirt for him, and a simple pair of black jeans. He nodded his approval. It may have seemed childish, but we continued holding hands for a long time, simply liking each other's company.

Too soon we were done with the clothes, and I challenged Edward to a thumb war. He stared at me blankly.

"You don't know what a thumb war is?"

* * *

**AN - I usually hate when authors do this...**

**One of my stories - Shadow and the Womanizer is so underappreciated. I have been told by a few loyal fans that it's one of their favourites of all of my stories. I'm just trying to breach the hundred mark on the reviews for it. It's complete, and a damn good story, and well written (so I've been told), but I posted it too quickly. **

**This story too, I will slow my pace on (not quit - it ain't over yet). A good chunk of this was pre-written, and as I continually remind you all - I am super slow at typing.**

**Sorry about all that. I'm just a little emotional. We ran out of chocolate ice-cream, so I'm a little touchy right now.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	10. Couldn't Have Said It Better

**AN - Huge turning point for ExB. Hope it's not too cheesy!**

* * *

We sat, facing each other, resting casually on my bed, I had taught him the basics of the thumb war game and I knew he was letting me win.

"Let's up the stakes. If you win a battle, you get to ask the loser a question, which they have to answer." I smiled and he agreed. His thumb war skills oddly improved. After five minutes of hard playing, I was biting my lip, focused completely on our entwined fingers, the thumbs trying to attack each other. I noticed that Edward was not watching our hands, but rather me and my expression. So I plastered a pout onto my face. Suddenly Edward lost focus, just for a fraction of a second. Long enough for me to pin him. I smiled in victory as Edward frowned, displeased.

"If you could have one thing in the world what would it be?" I asked. His eyes flashed with remorse.

"Your humanity given back to you." He replied calmly.

The next war he won.

"If you could have one thing in the world what would it be?" He asked, watching me carefully.

"Your laugh." I answered honestly. He blinked in surprise. "I love your laugh. It's soothing, exciting, contagious and sultry all at once." I admitted hanging my head in slight embarrassment.

Another thumb war game was played. He won again.

"One thing you miss about your human life?"

I frowned, thinking. What did I miss? Not my clumsiness. Not my lack of friends, or my possessions. Not my blush. Not my insecurity, which hadn't yet been cured.

"Charlie and Renee?" I asked back. "They had their problems, but they were special, just like our family."

"Thank you." He said, his eyes staring into mine. I was confused, and my face must have shown that, because he explained himself; "For saying 'our' family, for including yourself."

The thumb war continued. I won.

"One thing you wish you were doing right now?" I asked. He frowned and I could see him racking his brain. He then smiled, his eyes showing a pleased kind of realisation.

"Nothing."

"You'd rather be doing nothing?" I asked confusedly. Ouch. Was I that boring?

"No, there's nothing I'd rather be doing than this. I like spending time with you." He ran his free hand through his hair. I bit my lip, trying to suppress an embarrassed, yet pleased smile.

Another thumb war was started. He won.

"Something you'd rather be doing right now?" he asked.

I had to think about it. In all honesty, I'd rather be curled up in his arms. I had felt the smallest of hugs from him, when he had leaned around me to help me with homework. I wanted to be in his arms again. I felt safe and comfortable there.

"I can't tell you. It's embarrassing, forward and completely stupid." I muttered. He lifted my chin, which I had ducked out of his gaze.

"Please?"

It took all of my strength to look at him. His eyes were so calm, so trusting. There was no trace of guilt or pity there. I kept his hand in mine and twisted myself into his grip, so that he was sitting beside me, his hand wrapped around my side. He froze for a moment, before relaxing and pulling me closer. I ducked my head into his chest, simply relaxing as he did. We didn't continue the thumb wars, but we did continue the questioning.

"Why are you so afraid of insects?" Edward asked suddenly. His voice made his chest vibrate slightly; I was in heaven.

"I fell from a tree once when I was smaller, into an old log. I couldn't move because I had broken my leg. The log was filled with bugs of all kinds. I can only remember the feeling as countless insect crawled under my clothing, through my hair while I lay, unable to fend them off. I wouldn't stop having nightmares for weeks afterwards." I shivered and he pulled me slightly closer, protectively.

He leaned back against the headboard of my bed. We were now half-sitting-half-laying on my bed together, just talking. His question reminded me of something I wanted to ask though.

"Why did you miss at the dart game? I was positive you were going to win."

"So was Alice." He chuckled in return. "I would've had it not been for you."

"What do you mean?" I asked. What had I done that could've distracted him?

"The fear that shot through you, I felt it through Jasper. Even then I was worried about you, although I don't think I would've admitted it. As soon as I heard the whimper fall from your lips, every muscle in my body turned to you, every thought suddenly focused on you. It was as though you had flicked a switch, asking for my help. As soon as you felt safe again, I started working. My brain seemed to turn back on and I realised that I hadn't even noticed I had thrown the dart." Edward was gazing down at me thoughtfully.

"Thank you, and I am sorry." I smiled in return. We stared at each other again for a while, comfortable with the silence.

"Why Steve?" Edward asked.

"Steve was a boy at my school back in Phoenix. Major jock, no respect for women, but way too much fun to mess around with. It just fit, especially since I was so hyper." He smiled, envisioning the character I assumed. "Why Cinnia?"

His reaction was not one I expected. He ducked _his_ head slightly, looking embarrassed of all things.

"A lover?" I asked, my heart filling with lead at the words. Edward frowned.

"I'd like her to be, I suppose. Her name tells enough about her. Cinnia is a Celtic name. It means beauty." He stared into my eyes, as if willing me to understand. Suddenly I did. My name, Bella, meant beauty, in Italian. How could I possibly respond to that? I smiled in response, wrapping my arms around his broad muscular chest. I could stay here forever.

"How long have you felt like this?" Edward asked hesitantly, after a long pause. Honestly? I couldn't remember.

"Since I saw your taste in music I think. It just got stronger as you gave me more reasons to love you." I flinched as I said the words. I honestly didn't expect to say that out loud. What was with my tongue recently? Ever since my transformation my body had been so confident. No, I reminded myself, ever since Edward returned.

Edward pulled my face to his with his hand, staring straight into my eyes.

"Did you mean that?" he asked. I couldn't find my voice suddenly.

His topaz eyes stared into mine, his scent filling my nostrils, my mouth. The intensity in his eyes told me that he felt the same way. I leaned in the last few centimetres and my lips met his. Warmth spread from the place of contact through to the very nerve endings of my body. I was almost painfully aware of how close we were, our breathing perfectly in sync, the way his lips seemed to almost smile against mine. It felt so good, so natural being there in his arms. I felt safe, I felt whole; two things I hadn't felt in a while. I felt loved.

I pulled away first. His eyes were half closed, relaxed, his lips slightly parted and he looked happier than I had ever seen him before.

"You okay?" I joked. He laughed and that was instantly enough. I had been worried I had been too forward, or possibly too assuming.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Bella." He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"How long have you felt like this?"

"About forty-five seconds."

"No," I laughed, "How long have you loved me?" I instantly winced. I was assuming again. To my surprise he hugged me tighter to his chest.

"Since you pinned me, the time after I had first pinned you. You commanded me to explain myself, since then I was fearful you didn't return the same feelings. I was actually convinced you hated me for the longest time."

"What changed your mind about that?" I asked.

"The shower. Everything until then I considered simply polite. You had me convinced then, and I'm not even sure how. All I could think of at the time was why you'd be helping me at all, why you'd messed around with me in the first place, why you were so insistent on being friends with me. It was all so simple, yet I was so oblivious."

"Don't worry – I was the same. I thought you simply felt guilty. I had no idea if you felt the same way, or even if it was possible for you to love me as strongly as I loved you." Had someone hijacked my brain? Had I been human those words would have never fallen from my lips.

"I have loved you Isabella, so intently I didn't imagine you could feel the same way. Every time we touched I felt so alive, like I never had before."

"I wasn't sure at all. I just wanted you to go back to your old self, so the others would stop worrying." Suddenly Edward laughed.

"Bella, I haven't been myself since I met you. Before you entered my family I was hollow, solitary, I never laughed, never let anyone touch me, or be near me. I was supportive of my family, but always more like a recluse. And it was all by choice. After I met you, I found myself wanting to be in the same room as others, wanting to be near you, wanting to see you do simple things, wanting to see you amaze and confuse the others. You confuse me so much Bella. You are unlike any woman I have ever met."

"I'll try and write a handbook." I giggled.

"You could call it 'How to Speak Bella.'"

"Or, 'Bella, for Dummies'."

Edward laughed again, with me, until suddenly he sat up and winced.

" Alice has seen us. She's..."

"Buzzing?"

"Past that."

"Scary?"

"Beyond that." He was still searching for the right word when suddenly my door flung open, leaving a mark in the wall. Alice pounced on both of us, squeezing us hard.

"I knew it! I knew it! I'm so happy for you both! What perfect timing too!" Timing? Edward bristled slightly and Alice clasped her hands over her mouth.

"Sorry, shutting up, not saying a thing more, but oh my word! You two are so perfect together!"

Moments later, the family entered the house, Jasper first, wondering what the hell was wrong with his wife. The look on his face told me that he was trying to calm her and not succeeding. At this point Alice let us go and backed off. Jasper caught glimpse of our hands intertwined with each other and smiled, nodding his approval. He dragged Alice away and told the others that she was just overreacting, at least they had had the good sense not to come barging into my room.

"Guys, although you look fantastic as you are, we're leaving soon. You should both get dressed."

And we both separated. Everyone was getting dressed up apparently. I found a black strapless bra and matching lace underwear and then got dressed in the outfit Edward had helped me to choose, only shortening my mother's necklace so that the cross hung above the shirt. Alice came in, dressed in purples and blacks herself and helped me to pin up my hair. Too soon I was ready and I felt like a million dollars. Alice was ecstatic.

"You look gorgeous. Tonight will be so much fun. I'm sure you'll love it!"

"Where are we going?"

"Can't tell you."

"Will there be humans there?" I asked. She stopped and looked at me thoughtfully.

"I don't think so. There shouldn't be."

For some reason I still didn't feel much better. I hated surprises. She dragged me downstairs and shoved me into the garage.

"You can take the Vanquish with Edward. I take my Porsche, Rose gets her convertible, Carlisle his Mercedes." The others appeared as Alice said their names.

Carlisle looked like a god, so divinely handsome. Esme looked stunning, also wearing a skirt, a simple white one, with a shirt that had a rustic orange tint to it. Rosalie chose a form fitting red dress. She looked so insanely beautiful that I could barely believe it. I felt so insignificant beside her. Jasper and Emmett seemed to be dressed the same, only their shirt colours differed. Jasper had a deep purple, where Emmett's was pink. Despite the girly colour, he looked very good. Edward was the last to come down. I bit my lip as I smiled; he looked so devilishly hot. The emerald green worked so wonderfully with his gold eyes and bronze hair. The shirt fit him so well, the first few buttons open, revealing a sliver of his defined chest. Whatever I was feeling made Jasper chuckle, I glared at him and he held up his hands innocently.

Edward held out his hand for me and I took it gladly, smiling as he brought it to his lips to kiss, his eyes sparkling.

"You look fantastic."

"I thought you couldn't read my mind." I replied, deflecting attention. He placed his hand on the small of my back leading me to the car I had driven before. I slid into the seat, amused by the fact that Edward held the door open for me, closing it gently behind me. We all began driving and I stared out the window, feeling a strange sense of freedom. Emmett and Rosalie's car disappeared before long, I looked questioningly at Edward.

"They're going to take a shortcut, kind of. It's actually the long way round, but they increase their speed and get there before us anyway."

"Where are we going?" I whined, pleading with Edward. He smiled and finally admitted it.

"To see some friends of ours."


	11. I'll Kill You If You Don't Come Back

When we got there I was forcibly dragged from the car by Alice. I did not want to be here. I was so uncomfortable suddenly and I couldn't even place why. All of the Cullens seemed unaware of my predicament, even Jasper, and were focused on the house we had pulled up at. I heard movement from inside and literally backed away. Edward noticed _that_. He spun himself protectively in front of me and pulled me close, whispering quietly in my ear.

"What's wrong Bella?" he asked. I couldn't explain it. There was no reason for it. There was no way I was going into that house, suddenly I was just petrified of meeting these friends of theirs.

"I can't go in there." I whispered just as quietly. He frowned, trying to decipher the meaning behind my words.

"The house or the people?" he asked.

"Hello!" a voice called from the front door. It was the last straw for me. As Edward turned to look at the person welcoming them, I ran. I was a mile away before I stopped and flung myself up a tree. Edward blurred underneath me not a second later. I stayed in the tree, angry with myself for running.

What was I so scared of?

I was nothing but a mistake. That was the problem. I was the reason the Cullens had to move, I was the reason Edward had slipped in his control. I was the cause of so much of the family's problems and awkwardness. These people, whoever they were, would feel nothing but pity. Pity for Edward, because he lost control, and pity for me because I was now bound to the family. They wouldn't take the time to see past the mistake, past the pity and sympathy and look at me. See Bella, not the newborn. They wouldn't see me as a person, they may see my extraordinary control, or perhaps the fact that I am so childish, but they wouldn't see me.

As my brain continued down that path it became more and more derogatory. What exactly was there to see? I had no special talents, no incredible beauty, no fascinating history, even my human life was boring. I was nothing but a childish imposer. I sat, lowering my self esteem to the depths of hell before my inner torment was interrupted.

I would've expected Alice. She would know where I went. I would've expected Edward. He could've doubled back and seen me. I would've expected Jasper. He would feel my inner turmoil. I would've even expected Esme and Carlisle. As parents they had that 'eyes in the back of the head' thing. Never, in a million years, would I have pegged Rosalie to come and find me.

I stared at her dubiously and unbelieving for a moment. She looked back curiously, trying to figure out why I was, in all possible places, up a tree.

"Why did you run?" she asked simply, not bothering to comfort me, or soften the conservation. I looked down, ashamedly at my hands, before mumbling out what had been running through my head for the last minute.

After I had let it all out, Rosalie smirked at me, unpleasantly and swiftly punched me, hard. I fell from the tree, landing on all fours gently, not even breaking the heels I was wearing. She was on the ground before I could stand up, and she punched me again, throwing me backwards into the tree behind me.

"You." She said, before slapping me hard.

"Are." She enunciated, before kicking me in the stomach.

"The." Again in the stomach.

"Best." A swift kick to my side.

"Thing." A slap across the face again. Had I been human my head would've been spinning.

"That." I won't bother to continue with the beating description.

"Has." I was purely waiting for her to finish her sentence.

"Ever."

"Happened."

"To."

"Edward." She pulled my face up sharply to look at her. "And one of the more amusing additions to this messed up family we have. And you are stupid to think anything other than that." We were both breathing heavily at this point. We stared each other down for a while.

She truly meant it. Her eyes were blazing with anger, and had been since I started admitting what was wrong. She had known Edward all of his life, she had known this family for a lot longer than I had. Rosalie was also not the type to lie, about anything. She was far too tenacious to admit this without cause and meaning. She lowered her arms and stared at me expectantly. I was all tingly from her harsh beating. I lunged at her, wrapping my arms close around her neck, hugging her hard.

"Thank you Rosalie, it means so much. I'm so sorry, I've been so foolish!" I sighed. She briefly wrapped her arms around me before squirming out of my grip.

"If you ever tell anyone I just did that, you won't live to regret it." She snapped before turning away and walking off. I smiled weakly before running my hands over my hair to smooth it. I prayed that vampires didn't bruise, as I checked my miraculously unscathed clothing and began walking back to the house, timidly.

Edward appeared beside me a moment later, looking a little fazed. He was breathing a little heavily, perfectly normal considering the speed and distance he just covered trying to find me. He looked at me, for any sign of the fear or panic I had had before.

I simply smiled at him and hugged him hard.

"I'm sorry about that. I think I just needed some sense knocked into me." I whispered to him. He raised his eyebrow, contemplating the meaning to that, then took in the slight disarray of my hair.

"Did someone beat you?" he asked, looking over at Rose.

"Why would someone beat me? Is that what you'd expect of the people we're visiting?" I asked, as if completely clueless. Edward shook his head vehemently before kissing me gently.

"It seems it is my turn to apologize. I shouldn't jump to conclusions and it was unfair of me. I'm sorry." He said, kissing me again. "And the people we are meeting would never hurt you, of that I am sure."

So he led me into the house. I was first cornered by my mother. Esme smoothed down my hair, worry etched all over her perfect face. I assured her I was fine and she finally let me go. It was then that I noticed our audience. The three women were so commanding in presence that I edged ever so slightly behind Esme. Edward chuckled and pulled me instead behind him. Emmett was looking at me as if I had grown another head.

"Who are you and what did you do with Bella?" he shouted. He hadn't really seen me calm or shy or nervous before.

"It's Steve's fault." I said, motioning over my shoulder. The three women and a fourth, who was clutching onto a man all looked over my shoulder and I couldn't help but giggle. So we spent the next few minutes explaining Steve, and that was how I was introduced to the others.

Tanya was eyeing me speculatively, but not threateningly. Kate and Irina were simply gushing over 'Steve' and Emmett was laughing his butt off. Carmen stayed seemingly emotionless in the corner while Eleazar swept Carlisle off into another room. Edward stared after them, frowning thoughtfully. I nudged him, questioning him with my eyes. He simply smiled and said 'later'. Eventually we all sat down and began talking. I noticed that with every sentence Edward offered, the Denali coven all looked shocked he was speaking at all. Every time he touched me, a flicker of a smile shot across both Esme and Carmen's faces. Had Edward really changed that much? So much so that if he offered his opinion people were shocked? Tanya rarely spoke to me, but if she did it was polite. She didn't seem to love me as much as the others instantly did, but at least she wasn't hostile.

After a while, Carmen spoke. It was the first time since our arrival and her question was directed at me.

"Isabella? Are you happy?" She asked, folding her hands in her lap and waiting expectantly. If I could've blushed I would've been. I looked around to all of the faces of my family. _My_ family. My _family._ No matter what way you put it, it sounded natural, wonderful, wholesome. I shook my head and everyone frowned.

"No... I'm wonderful." I said. I couldn't possibly be happier right now. This earned another sliver of PDA from Edward. He pulled me closer to him, nuzzling my neck gently. Lust shot through me and I bit my lip gently, trying to control myself. What was it with these strong emotions? Jasper chuckled and I stuck my tongue out at him.

I suddenly had a ridiculous idea.

"Chicken fight!" I squealed. Alice and Emmett were jumping up and down just as quickly as I was. Alice swung herself nimbly onto Jasper's shoulders, Emmett picked up Rosalie and put her on his shoulders. I looked at Edward, asking permission. He held out his hand, a smile playing around his lips. Carmen jumped onto Eleazar's shoulders without asking him. Carlisle picked up Esme and spun her onto his shoulders. Kate jumped onto Tanya's shoulders and Irina called being the 'referee'. We all exited the house and formed a kind of circle.

Edward squeezed my leg. Irina said 'go' and Edward started running beneath me. I deftly pushed at Esme, who nearly fell off, before I felt a squeeze on my right leg, from Edward. Suddenly on my right, Rosalie was pushing me. Ah, so we were going to cheat. Left leg squeeze and I braced myself for impact from the left side. Kate pushed me. Edward spun us around and I managed to push her back.

It wasn't long before the first contestant fell. Carmen had fallen to the ground and was laughing her head off, jabbering in Spanish. Eleazar picked her up and they sat off to the side where Irina was. The night was beautiful, and the only sounds were of us, attacking each other. It almost, at times, sounded like someone was setting off firecrackers. I could, distantly, see the glow of the city, miles away from our position now. The night was surprisingly clear, and the moon was beautifully large.

I was able to be distracted without being in danger, because Edward would squeeze my leg whenever someone planned to attack me. Soon it was just Alice/Jasper and Edward/I. Emmett was moaning about losing and Rosalie was rolling her eyes at his childishness. We soon 'upped the stakes' since it was only the two of us, and Alice and I were blindfolded.

I could hear her breathing, and barely hear Jasper moving. I tried to focus on where she was, until I felt a squeeze on my right leg. I could've sworn she was to my left, but I trusted Edward. I braced for impact from the right and sure enough, it came.

"CHEATER!" Emmett screamed, jumping at us. I got knocked backwards and off of Edward, as Emmett continued to pummel Edward, or try. I didn't realise my skirt had been ripped until Alice whimpered about it. I looked down only to see a fantastic rip darting from the hem all the way up to the waistband of it, you could see my leg, and my panties. I would've blushed were I human. But, vampire Bella simply shrugged. Nothing they hadn't all seen before. It wasn't even that revealing.

Edward however did respect my modesty. He – much to my approval – removed his shirt, and tied it around my waist, covering the bare part of my leg. I tried desperately not to ogle, but... Shirtless. Edward. Irresistible. I ran a finger playfully down his sculpted chest and his muscles flexed beneath me. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"That tickled. Please refrain from doing that." His words were serious, but his tone was light. I pulled his ear to my mouth.

"Fine, but I _will_ tickle you later." I threatened, earning a smile from him.

"Cinnia will protect me." Edward laughed.

"Steve won't be happy with that. I hear they're together now." I started conversationally.

The night was over far too soon, but we all promised to return soon. On the way home I started singing softly to myself.

"Come on! come on!  
And there'll be no turning back  
You were only killing time and it'll kill you right back  
Come on! come on!  
It's time to burn up the fuse  
You've got nothing to do and even less to lose  
You've got nothing to do and even less to lose

So wander down the ancient hallway  
Taking the stairs only one at a time  
Follow the sound of my heartbeat now  
I'm in the room at the top, you're at the end of the line  
Open the door and lay down on the bed  
The sun is just a ball of desire

And I wanna take you out of the frying pan."

"And into the fire." Edward finished for me. I smiled.

"Shoulda known you'd know Meatloaf."

"With my collection I know pretty much every song on the planet." Edward shrugged. Oh really?

"And I know the roads to riches,  
And I know the ways to fame;  
I know all the rules  
And then I know how to break em  
And I always know the name of the game." I started, midway through a song. The band was Air Supply.

"But I dont know how to leave you,  
And I'll never let you fall;  
And I dont know how you do it,  
Making love out of nothing at all." He chorused back. His voice was beautiful.

"The world seems not the same,  
Though I know nothing has changed.  
It's all my state of mind,  
I can't leave it all behind.  
Have to stand up to be stronger." I tested. Surely Within Temptation he'd not know.

"Have to try to break free  
From the thoughts in my mind.  
Use the time that I have,  
I can't say goodbye,  
Have to make it right.  
Have to fight, cause I know  
In the end it's worthwhile,  
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.  
It will be alright." Obviously I was wrong.

We continued like that the whole drive home. Occasionally I would throw in a song that he didn't know, but then most of them were from the sixties and seventies. He seemed to realise I knew his weakness though, because after the fourth 'I don't know'. He poked his tongue out at me. I had to laugh at that.

We spent a few minutes in silence before he looked at me.

"What is Alice hiding?" he asked. "It's something about you, and something you wanted to do."

I smiled, remembering exactly what I had planned. Alice must've been hiding it from everyone. I looked over to Edward and shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I've been planning a lot of things recently." I said. "I wanted to go clubbing, to the zoo, to see a concert..." I trailed off, pretending to think. When I 'apparently' came up blank, Edward sighed, frustrated.


	12. Nowhere Fast

**AN – By popular demand...**

Alice had everything ready. She told me so, without revealing it to anyone. Nobody but the two of us knew that I wanted to try it. It would be fun, with or without parachutes. Yep, the Cullen family was going skydiving. Alice had had to go and buy the plane, take a few lessons and all the fun stuff, without letting anyone else know. I have no idea how she did it, how she had managed to do everything, or even find the time to do everything, but she did. Alice was faster, wittier, quicker, sneakier and cuter than God even.

"Bella, it is all up to you now. Just say the word and we are gone." She mumbled.

"And you are positive that no one knows what the hell we're doing."

"Not even the master of manipulation – Edward himself, knows anything about it."

"How in the world would you manage that?" I mused aloud.

"I'm Alice." She said, as if it explained everything. I chuckled to myself. We would go soon, but not today.

The morning was uneventful after that. Edward stayed with me, but we didn't say much to each other. Rose was with Emmett, somewhere or another. Alice and Jasper were out, probably actually hunting. I had figured out that Alice probably didn't hunt as frequently as she said she had, just so that she could get this entire thing set up. Esme and Carlisle were at work. I settled down on a couch in our home theatre room, to put on the news.

Most of it was crap, some of it was interesting and the rest was useless information. There were some stories about a plane accident somewhere and that the list of casualties would be released later, there were some stories about a bank robbery, and some about good things; community events and things like that. There was even a snippet at the end about sports and some high school team, winning a trophy or something. Honestly I wasn't really paying attention.

Halfway through the hour I began running through the balancing exercises Edward had taught me. He watched in casual fascination as I pulled myself off of the couch and worked my way into a hand-stand. I then switched to one hand, then the other, then twisted my body so that I flipped over completely. When I landed back on my feet I huffed a sigh of satisfaction. I would have never been able to do this had I been human. Renee would never believe it if she saw me now.

A stab of pain shot through me at the mention of her name. I was infinitely glad Jasper wasn't here. No. He didn't need to know – none of them did –that I wasn't as happy as I said I was. That was the thing – I missed Renee, I missed Charlie. I missed being able to sleep too. I used to have the most interesting dreams. It didn't matter though. As long as I kept my mind busy, as long as I kept learning and playing around, and pretending everything was okay... it was. If I stopped being happy, if I started thinking about home, I got sad again. Angry, even, at the harsh circumstances that ripped me from my parents. I wasn't angry at Edward though. I couldn't be. He was perfection, and by some small miracle, he loved me. Despite the pain he had caused me and my old family, despite the self-loathing attitude, despite the stick-up-the-ass formalities, I loved him too.

When I got him to break, when I got him to relax, it was beautiful. He transformed into an entirely different person. He was so free, so perfect, that you couldn't help but love him. That was why I kept thinking up the games, why I continually kept him guessing. It was and it wasn't me. It was, in the sense that I was living out every dream I had had as a human, everything I wouldn't or couldn't have done. Every inkling of a notion I could fulfill. And yet – it wasn't me, in the sense that I could sit and read books for hours, write a little, go for walks, hang out with friends and just relax. That Bella was the one that had been showing when Edward and Jasper left. That Bella was the one I felt pain in being. That Bella was the one I wouldn't be if I could help it.

Edward suddenly came up behind me and I nearly jumped through the ceiling. I had forgotten he was there and gotten wrapped up completely in my own little world.

"You okay Bella?" he asked, wrapping his hands gently around my waist. I nodded.

"Just thinking about what Alice and I have planned." I think it came up somewhere in my ramblings. Maybe in passing. Edward groaned in frustration.

"I still haven't a clue what that one is about. It is the first thing she has successfully been able to keep from me in a long time. She has been thinking about absolutely everything in the past week, except what she's planning. She has been filling her head with Jasper, with hunting, with makeup and clothing lines, with poetry, translations, poetry translations, and did you know she's even been thinking about buying a country?"

"What?" I asked, my voice going up with the corners of my mouth. It did sound like something Alice would do.

"Just a small one. I think it was somewhere in Africa. She was considering the hunting possibilities." Edward shook his head as he buried his face into my neck. Elephants? Lions? Giraffes? Hippos? What strange hunting prospects. Not to mention monkeys, cheetahs, flamingos, zebras and buffalos. Would zebras taste like horses? What do horses taste like?

"Not unlike deer. I would imagine zebras taste the same as horses, but there would be a minor variation." Edward sighed. Oh.

It hit me a few moments later: I had not said that aloud.

"Edward?" I asked. He looked at me, wondering what the sudden change in my tone of voice was about. "I never said that out loud."

"Impossible," he scoffed. "I can't read _your_ mind."

"You heard the whole spiel on hunting possibilities in Africa?"

"Yes."

"I never said that out loud." I informed him. He was frowning now, completely confused. His mouth opened and he tried to say something, then he shut it and ran his fingers through his hair. After a few moments of him trying to figure it out he simply sank heavily into the couch behind him and muttered 'I don't understand.'

I tried to think it through. He said he couldn't read my mind. I trusted him on that one, however Alice and Jasper still affected me, or in Alice's case, saw my future. Perhaps the mind reading block was not because I was blocking him, but because subconsciously, _Edward_ was blocking _me_.

"What if the reception problem is on your end?" I asked. He looked up at me even more confused than before. "No, listen. What if you are blocking me without realising it, and this mental block you think I have is just a figment of your imagination?"

He was shaking his head before I had even finished.

"No, because Eleazar and Kate didn't affect you either." Huh? My expression must've been blank and confused, because Edward started explaining. "Eleazar reads people's powers. He said that he can sense nothing from you, not even the fact that you are present, which he should. He was completely bemused by it earlier, when we were at their house, do you remember?"

I nodded.

"What about Kate?" I asked. Edward grimaced, his eyes darkening in anger.

"After she heard this revelation she tried her gift on you. It was during the chicken fight, and I didn't even realise she was trying to do it, until it was too late. I could've ripped her head off for trying something so ridiculous."

"Hang on, what?" He still hadn't explained anything.

"Kate has the ability to cause pain with a single touch. You would've been flat on your back writhing in pain if it had worked. Still, she doesn't cause physical pain, it is mental pain. Your body thinks it's in pain, and so it is. Neither of their gifts worked on you, you have a natural defence shield. I cannot penetrate it."

Which brought us back full circle.

"But you did. Just now." I said. Edward's eyes flashed with understanding.

"What if you, are like Jasper, and can control your ability? You might be able to extend your shield, around others, or, just as you did a few moments ago, remove it from yourself." He looked like a kid in a candy store. A 104 year old kid in a philosophical candy store.

At that point, Alice and Jasper arrived home. Alice was sitting on Jasper's shoulders, with a cute grin on her face. Jasper was smiling too. Her attitude was always contagious, he didn't need to be an empath to be happy at this point.

"We're going as soon as Carlisle and Esme get home!" Alice informed me. She took one look at Edward's speculative face and turned to me.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, just power guessing." I shrugged. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Well you can do that later. We have to get dressed for the occasion." She hopped off of Jasper's shoulders and grabbed me. Get dressed? For skydiving? Oh Alice was definitely out with the faeries. **(Irish spelling of fairies. I think it looks better.)**

She had jumpsuits, all in our favourite colours, all perfectly sized, just dangling in her closet. Mine was midnight blue and fit like a glove. Hers was purple and looked like it could fit a child. Edward's was green, Esme's was yellow, Rosalie's was – no surprise – red, Carlisle's was a majestic indigo colour, Jasper's was orange and Emmett's... was pink. Hot pink. He'd get a kick out of that. It was also large enough to fit an Alice in each leg, two in the torso and her legs in the arm holes. That was a funny mental picture in itself.

She had stripped me and shoved me into the suit before I could blink, and slipped hers on too. She looked fantabulous. I looked okay, I thought, and Alice shoved the rest of the jumpsuits in my arms. I went and found Edward, giving him his, Jasper, handing him the orange fabric, and then left Rosalie's and Emmett's outside their room, knocking to let them know that the things were there. Carlisle and Esme's I left by the door, waiting for their arrival.

Not long after they got into the house, we had them stripped and changed. The boys looked really cute in their outfits, especially Edward. Green seemed to suit him, he looked very charming. However, most of them could've probably pulled off wearing a burlap sack.

"Carlisle? After this little adventure is over, I want to talk to you about Bella. We may have a new development in her power." Edward sighed. They were all still completely oblivious. Standing, waiting for Alice's instructions, I realised we looked like a weird rainbow. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, purple and pink.

"Brothers and sisters. We are going skydiving."

Emmett whooped and cheered, Rosalie cracked a smile, Esme looked patient, Carlisle looked shocked, Jasper looked excited and Edward looked at me.

"Are you serious?" He didn't look amused.

"It was Steve's idea." I defended. Edward relaxed and shook his head.

"Better this than a country I suppose."

Not half an hour later we were at an airport, getting on a plane. Alice scampered over to me.

"The pilot is human, so hold your breath for a bit okay?" she said. I nodded enthusiastically. There was no way I would let something as simple as thirst ruin this occasion. Edward still moved protectively between me and the cockpit when we got on board, as if he were afraid I would jump the guy. Honestly, I was a little more nervous about jumping out of a plane, than I was about attacking the guy who was flying it.

When we took off, I dared a look out of the window. I had hated flying as a human. What could have possibly possessed me to jump out of a plane now? I curled up into Edward, being careful not to pull any strings or break any straps that were covering us. The backpacks, filled with the thin parachutes, were very awkward, even if they were as simple as possible.

Finally, the door was open. The wind was whipping at our faces and the noise was deafening. The pilot instructed us to jump whenever we were ready. I knew that after we jumped, we had a count of ten before we pulled out parachutes. Alice went first, squealing in delight as she did. Rosalie went second, with a smirk on her face. Esme and Carlisle jumped together, holding hands as they fell. Emmett backflipped out of the plane, laughing his head off. Jasper was looking at me and Edward.

"Bella, do you want help?" Jasper asked. I was terrified out of my mind right now. It may have been my idea, it did not mean I threw all of my logic and common sense out of the window. Suddenly none of it mattered. I was confident, comfortable and even eager. God praise Jasper. He jumped out of the plane and I tried to hold on to the happy feelings.

"Want to jump together?" Edward asked. He looked like he half expected me to say no.

"Well I was gonna go with Steve, but he jumped with Cinnia. So you're my last option I guess." I said, trying to make it look as if I didn't care. He saw right through it and leaned in to kiss me. I lost myself in that kiss, feeling his lips pressed against mine as his hands held mine tightly. I didn't even notice the fact that Edward had leaned us out of the plane, until he broke off. I screamed in fear, in joy and in the adrenaline-less adrenaline rush.

Edward held up a hand. He counted with his fingers, two, three, four... At ten we were to pull the parachutes. I could see absolutely everything from here. Expanses of snow-covered fields, green specks of trees that were fast approaching, even the cities, which looked so strange. I could also see a number of parachutes below us.

Eight, nine, ten. Edward counted. Edward and I both pulled the straps that connected to our bags and suddenly we slowed dramatically. I grabbed at his hand a little tighter and he smiled in return.

"Enjoy that?" he asked, yelling over the wind. I couldn't stop the huge smile that swept over my face.

"Absolutely." I laughed. However, I really didn't think I ever needed a repeat experience. Once was enough for me.

When we landed I rolled and – if someone planned it, it couldn't have gone better – ended up under a parachute with Edward. He rolled so that he was on top of me and I lay my head on his chest, smiling. I was intently happy at that point.

"Ever want to do it again?"

"No thank you!" I laughed.


	13. Mercury Blues

A few days after the skydiving, I was getting antsy again. It seemed as though, if I didn't keep myself occupied, I started to remember, started to feel again. As silly as it sounded, I didn't want to feel. I wanted to run, to hide away from the pain I knew the memories would bring. Charlie and Renee never crossed my mind. If they did, I quickly thought about something else to do, something that would distract me. A lot of the time, that distraction was Edward.

We were so close now. We spent hours on end just talking. Our conversations would vary, and if you weren't alert every minute, could take a drastic turn. One minute we'd be talking about a movie and the next we'd be talking about the end of the world.

"I don't know why you think I can let you hear me." I muttered, as once again, we went over him trying to stretch my power. Or whatever he thought I had.

"Because I have heard you." Edward said, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"Well maybe you were just concentrating hard."

"I concentrate all the time! Usually on you, also." He sighed, fully exasperated.

"Well someone needs a hobby." I said. It was far too much fun to rile him up. Emmett and Jasper called him Eddie, or sent him nasty mental images. I created a battle of wits.

"I have hobbies," he growled, "I have plenty of hobbies."

"Name four." I retorted, crossing my arms and reclining on the couch. How did he not see I was purposefully winding him up? Edward counted them off on his fingers slowly.

"I play the piano," one of his slender fingers was extended. "I read, diligently," another of his fingers went up. "I compose music, and I listen to music, extensively." All four fingers were up. He raised his eyebrows too, his breathing slightly heavy. I could see his clenched jaw.

I focused on calming down, almost trying to make my mood move to him. He was far too easy to wind up.

"You're winding me up?" Edward asked, looking frustrated, amused and amazed all at once.

"You heard that?" I asked. That was definitely mind-reading. What had I been feeling? Calm? No – it was more than that. I had the feeling of wanting to spread the calm, spread my emotions to Edward. Only I wasn't spreading my emotions, I was spreading my thoughts.

I tried to replicate that feeling and began thinking about anything that popped into my head. Butterflies flew into my mind, pardoning the pun, and I began to think about all sorts of shapes and colours, types of moths and my vague memories of going to a butterfly conservatory.

.

_I was running on the cobbled pavement, careful not to run too fast. I could see all sorts of plants around me, and the air was thick, heavy and wet. We were indoors, with the ceiling made entirely of glass. I could hear a running waterfall somewhere, and I could see a bridge. When I walked onto it I saw the stream, filled with catfish. They swam over to me eagerly, obviously used to people feeding them._

_I gripped the hard wood carefully and climbed up slightly; I wanted a better look at the butterflies. I could hear birds all around, singing beautifully, and I knew that if we came back when it was dark there would be different kinds of birds singing and darting around the conservatory. A butterfly landed on me then. I had worn a bright yellow shirt, knowing that the butterflies would be attracted to it. I looked at it, watching it carefully open and close its wings._

"_Bella, get down from there! I don't want you falling! The nearest hospital is miles away." Renee called. I turned, to see her smiling, but worried face, as she watched me on the bridge. She had a butterfly on her hair, and didn't know it. I smiled at her silly expression._

_._

Edward was watching me curiously. He was frowning slightly – he had obviously seen the memory. And it was too late for me. I had seen Renee. Despite my apparently joyous attitude, I was not as peaceful as I claimed to be. My mother was an essential part of my life. She was – is, my best friend. And she was convinced I was dead.

I could never see her again, lest I be the cause of her death. The room appeared as though it were shaking, although I knew it was only me. I closed my eyes and tried to forget, tried to bring back that false sense of happiness, but I was too far gone.

Renee's face stuck with me like glue to paper and tearless sobs ripped themselves from my chest. I half expected Edward to wrap his strong arms around me and reassure me. I wanted him to tell me that everything was alright, that it would all be okay. No such presence, no such reassurance and comfort appeared. I heard the door to his room shut and the bolt lock. I curled up as tightly as I could, into a ball and continued sobbing. Not surprisingly, Jasper wrapped his arms around me, however he didn't stop the tirade of emotions pulsing through me.

"Stop it, please. Make me happy again." I pleaded as another memory washed over me; a failed cooking experiment Renee had tried. Something to do with gummy worms and chicken.

"No, you need this. By the extent of the emotions, I'd say this has been bottled for a very long time. You need to let them all go, need to feel them fully. The damage if you don't would be endangering to your mental health."

So instead he held me. I could hear murmuring upstairs; Edward was talking to someone. It didn't matter, not really. All I wanted was the pain to go away. The hole in my chest was aching so badly. I wanted my scatterbrained mother to try and hug me, to quote some wise words from a sci-fi or romance novel she'd read. It always seemed to help, even if it was funny. I smiled a little as I continued to recall, the happier memories hurting but helping a little.

Jasper's strong arms stayed firmly locked around me as he continued to share my emotions, share and understand. He was learning about me now, in a way that nobody in the family had yet. He was seeing Bella. The Bella I didn't want them to see. The one who regretted coming to Forks, the one who wished everything was normal, the one who _almost_ hated Edward for stealing every part of normalcy from me. But she also did love her new family. She was comfortable and accepting, grateful and happy that she had eternity to spend with such varied and loving souls.

Some part of my mind wondered where everyone else was. The rest was trying to clear up the pain pulling at my chest. It took hours for the pain to subside. The dark night had been replaced with the beautiful orange-red spectrum of the dawn, so we had definitely been curled up on the floor together for a few hours, at least.

I was feeling better though. My breathing was normal, my eyes were still closed, as I let memory after memory wash over me. They didn't hurt as much anymore, just twinged a little. Renee, Charlie, my house in Phoenix, my old room in Forks, summers where I'd spent my time at the tide pools, watching the aquariums of fish.

Eventually I ended up feeling nothing, just calm. With my eyes closed and a feeling of peace around me, my brain not thinking about anything, I was as close to sleep as I could be. I opened my eyes and saw Jasper's calculating expression.

"See? That wasn't so hard." He smiled, his accent shining through. I chuckled weakly.

"For you maybe." I said. I leaned forward and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Alice is very lucky to have such a caring husband Jasper. Thank you."

He smiled lopsidedly and tipped an imaginary hat.

"My pleasure ma'am. I'm just glad I can help such a strong lady. I'm honoured to call you my sister." He said as he pulled us both into standing positions. He leaned forward and hugged me hard. "Don't wait too long to do that again, 'kay?"

I nodded gently. I looked towards the stairs, wondering how I was going to fix things with Edward now. Jasper pulled my chin up, indicating that I should just stay strong and 'go with my gut'. I nodded and started to walk up the stairs, running my hands through my hair anxiously. At Edward's door, Carlisle stood, his back to the wood, and his head in his hands as he talked mentally with his son. He looked at me and smiled softly, his eyebrows cocking slightly. I nodded to indicate I was okay and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Break down the door if you have to; I haven't been able to get an actual response for hours." Carlisle pulled away, a sorrowful look on his face. I smiled. It was possible that Jasper was toying with me, but I didn't think so – the smile was real. I was actually calm, and a little sad, and a lot happy. I just had to help Edward now.

"Edward?" I asked, knocking gingerly. I heard no movement. The lock did turn however, after a few minutes. I opened the door slowly, not really knowing what to expect.


	14. Burning Down

The sun was the first thing I saw. The windows were fantastically illuminated by the sun, with all of the colours of the rainbow sparkling on the snow outside. It cast long shadows around the room. Edward was standing beside the door, staring, unblinkingly upon the beautiful sight. His face looked pained, disgusted, apologetic and much older than it ever had. I briefly wondered if this was how he had been during his initial absence, with the weeks he spent away from the Cullen family. My heart clenched at the thought of causing such a beautiful creature harm.

The only movement he was making was his chest. It was rising and falling with each slow breath he took, although it looked like a forced calm. He was truly distraught. I knew the feeling; what he needed to do, but wouldn't, was vent. Be it physically or verbally, he needed to destroy something or verbally berate himself. Either would be great right now, although I knew that was exactly what he wouldn't do. What was I supposed to do to make him do that?

"Edward?" I asked timidly. He blinked. I heard a muffled curse emitted from Jasper's room. Obviously the intense emotion was getting to him. I moved to block Edward's view, only to find that he wasn't really looking at anything. His eyes did look to me though.

I reached out to touch him and he shied along the wall, just out of my grasp.

_Well that wasn't childish at all._ I thought. Edward frowned and opened his mouth, to speak, before crashing his head back against the wall, hard enough to leave a dent. A few bits of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his shoulder.

"I don't know to make this better." I admitted. His anger flared then.

"You shouldn't have to make this better." He snapped, his voice much higher in volume than necessary. "You shouldn't be here."

I knew he meant as a vampire, but that hurt. I thought he loved me. I thought we loved each other. For him to say he didn't want me here, even though I knew I was taking the phrase out of context, was like taking a knife to my heart. I let out a 'huh' sound in a blast of air that spewed from my lips. It sounded like a strangled sob. Edward looked at me, and then realised how his words had been construed.

"Not like that Bella!" he said, his voice instantly apologetic. "You should be human, with your family. You should be attending school, going out on dates with human boys, getting angry at your parents for setting unreasonable curfews..." his voice had been gradually rising in volume and tempo, his anger only inflating as he continued to list things I would never have done anyway.

"I am studying, a grade level higher than my own. I never, and I mean n-e-v-e-r got asked on dates, and I never went anywhere, so I had no reason to argue about curfew."

"Semantics." He snapped back. "Don't be pedantic."

"Edward..." I wanted to tell him that I was fine with my new life, that I had accepted it all, and that everything was fine and dandy, and yet I couldn't lie to him. "I hurt." The pain that flashed across his features when I said this tore across my chest too. "I hurt a hell of a lot. You stole the only life I had ever known, and two parents who loved me deeply."

_Where exactly are you going with this?_

_Yeah, you aren't really helping._

Both sides of my brain were in agreement, something that rarely happened. Where _was_ I going with this? I was only making things worse. Edward's hands were digging into his jeans, ripping easily through the material. He looked pained, remorseful and still angry, at himself, at his kind, at his nature.

"But you gave me so much more. You gave me another family, one with its own characteristics and flaws. Renee and Charlie are still my family, and will always be my family, they just aren't my only family anymore." I tried to explain. I wasn't helping. He was still as angry at himself as before.

"Do. Not. Try. To. Make. This. Alright." He said between clenched teeth. "I have done nothing short of the most horrendous crime known to man. I have stolen your life, in so many ways, and condemned you to an eternity of darkness and slaughter."

"And you have given me a lover. A beacon of light in that darkness you threw me into."

"I have only taken from you, not given. I haven't done anything to deserve your love." He replied, turning his head away.

"So you'd rather I be angry with you?"

_Oh boy._

_He shouldn't have said that._

"I suppose." Edward muttered. His eyes flickering back to mine. He truly meant it.

"And what fucking good would that do?" I cried. Snap. I never swore. Ever. Not even in my head. "Fine! I'm angry with you. I hate you for taking my humanity, for not killing me when you had the chance. I hate Alice for taking me to Carlisle, I hate Jasper for fighting you off. I hate all of you for ruining my life as I knew it! Happy? Do you feel happier now Edward? Is that what you wanted? Now I hate everyone, your family is completely guilty and sad and do you feel any better?"

He was flinching and I could hear the protests of the others in the house that were listening to this conversation. I promptly ignored him and continued.

"I hate that I ever got out of that damn car. I hate that I ever moved to Forks. I hate that I was born female, I hate that my parents split up, I hate that vampires were even created in the first place. Are you better now Edward? Now that I'm full of hate? What good is it doing anyone? Does it change what happened? No. Does it change the future? Hell yes. We're all going to be fucking miserable for years to come."

"Bella." He said, turning to me. I promptly ignored him and continued.

"No doubt Jasper will move out cause he can't stand the misery. Alice will go with him because she can't leave her mate. Esme and Carlisle will despair over losing children. You'll leave, because you can hear their disappointment, Rose and Emmett won't like the environment either. So I'll leave, feeling guilty that I've caused all this to happen, and the once strong, unique and proud Cullen family will be fractured and broken, simply because you couldn't get your head out of your own ass and amend yourself."

"Bella." He repeated, moving towards me. I promptly ignored him and continued.

"Damn you Edward! Could you, for one second, pull yourself out of your 'well of misery' and take a look at the repercussions? You're a mind reader, for heaven's sake! You should be able to hear how this affects each and every family member. Or don't you care anymore? Are you too self-loathing that you don't care about anything except making yourself miserable?"

"Bella!" he said, a small smile on his face as he pushed his hand against my lips. I couldn't promptly ignore him anymore. He looked weirdly happier, considering all I did was yell vehemently at him. I tried to compose myself, emptying my head of the rest of the callous and hurtful speech I was going to make, opting for happy thoughts instead. Things like butterflies and clear blue skies, still bathtubs and sparkling snow.

I took a few deep breaths, calming myself, before adopting a 'So?' look. He removed his hand from my lips and pressed his lips there instead. I gave in far too quickly, my anger dissipating almost instantly.

"Thank you." He said. "For reminding me that it's not all about me, and my 'well of despair'. That I have other people to worry about, and that I have you to love, and to love me in return."

He ran his hands over my face, pulling me closer to him as he hugged me, silently apologizing for everything he'd done, every mistake he had made.

"Anytime."


	15. Because of You EPOV Special

**Because so many of you asked for it: EPOV. After this chapter, it goes back to BPOV. Sorry Chantal – next one I uber-promise!**

I was watching thorough a human's blurry eyes, at a vague memory. It took me but a moment to realise that I was watching Bella's memories.

_She was running somewhere, the air felt thick and hot. She glanced upward and I saw glass. A greenhouse of some sort? I could hear running water and the vision looked to a river filled with Panaque nigrolineatus, or Royal Pleco, a type of catfish. I could what I supposed were bird songs. Humans were so limited in their capabilities – half of the song was lost. A butterfly landed on her then, and I assumed that this was a butterfly observatory._

"_Bella, get down from there! I don't want you falling! The nearest hospital is miles away." An unfamiliar voice called. As Bella turned I saw a woman, one who must've been her mother – the similarity was striking and uncanny._

I had seen through Bella's eyes. I turned to her, about to ask, when I saw the pained expression on her face. Her mother. Bella had remembered her mother. The mask of calm and happiness cracked and suddenly I could see the onslaught of pain that ripped through her. Her eyes were so filled with agony that it cut through me sharper than a needle through the eyeball.

Jasper didn't mean to, but he mentally cursed at the onslaught of anguish. She began shaking and closed her eyes. I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to tell her everything was alright , but who was I to do that? I had done nothing but murder her, stolen her life from her. Pain and remorse whipped through me also and I, being the coward and monster I am, ran.

"Stop it, please. Make me happy again."

I heard her shaky voice pleading with Jasper. My breathing was beyond sporadic and strained. I slammed the door to my room, locking it and resting against the back of it. I shut my eyes and clamped my hands over my ears childishly, hoping that everyone would simply leave me alone. No such luck.

_Edward!_

_Get out there! You should be the one comforting her!_

"Jasper can understand what she's going through." I snapped back. I was the worst candidate for the position of comforter. I was manipulative, of people's thoughts and mindsets, not so with Bella.

_Edward, you don't have to lock yourself away._ I listened to Carlisle, my father, simply because I still had that longing for comfort myself. _You and she are in an extremely unique position. You can heal each other. _

"It's just Stockholm." I muttered. The captor and captive falling in love, supposedly.

_You doubt your own feelings for her? Has she not made it clear how much she loves you? Rectify your mistake, if you feel the need to do so. Do not run from your errors. I thought I had taught you better than that._

Jasper interrupted then. _It'll take time, but she needed to get this all out. Edward, get your ass down here!_

I shut them all out, delving into the confines of my own mind. I was such an animal, so brutal and cruel. It was hours before I expanded my gift to include everyone again.

_... take responsibility. You're still not listening are you?_

_Oh, Edward! She's our baby sis! Go help her!_

_I won't tell you what to do anymore Edward. It is ultimately your decision, and only you have the right to make it._

Jasper reported that Bella was calmer. My eyes flickered to the clock. It had taken nearly five hours. I barely felt like any time had passed at all.

"See? That wasn't so hard." I heard from downstairs.

"For you maybe. Alice is very lucky to have such a caring husband Jasper. Thank you." That was a stab at me. I wasn't caring enough to be around her. That was how she perceived me. I was immediately disgusted with myself. I loved her, so much that it almost hurt. Seeing her in anguish, and worse, being the source of it, was so destroying, so evil, that I couldn't possibly be near her. She needed to get away from me, that I would not hurt her, that I could not hurt her.

_Edward, she's coming up the stairs. I suggest you at least try to explain why you ran, why you left her defenceless and scared._

Another stab at me and my cowardice. I deserved it.

"Break down the door if you have to; I haven't been able to get an actual response for hours." Carlisle walked off, going to Esme, to comfort her also. Another person I'd hurt.

"Edward?" Bella asked. I turned slowly, thinking about my sadistic tendencies before I unlatched the door and stepped quietly to the side. I stared out at the sunset, at the landscape as she came in, trying to convince myself not to run as far away as I could.

"Edward?" She asked again.

_Damnit, he's in worse pain than before. Stop feeling fuckin' sorry fer yerself!_

I ignored Jasper and looked at Bella. She reached out to touch me and I inched away. Why couldn't they all just let me be?

_Well that wasn't childish at all._ The voice was Bella's. Her pain was no longer evident and I wondered how hard she was hiding it now. I smashed my head back, angry at everything I had done recently. I had deluded myself into believing everything was fine.

"I don't know to make this better."

"You shouldn't have to make this better." I yelled, not thinking. She was always trying to put the blame on herself. "You shouldn't be here."

A strangled sob fell from her lips and I retraced. She had thought I didn't want her here.

"Not like that Bella!" I pleaded. "You should be human, with your family. You should be attending school, going out on dates with human boys, getting angry at your parents for setting unreasonable curfews..." I could see my speech was in vain as she began to look angrier. She should not have been so troubled. She should have been leading her blissfully ignorant human life, with no worries and no vampires.

"I am studying, a grade level higher than my own. I never, and I mean n-e-v-e-r got asked on dates, and I never went anywhere, so I had no reason to argue about curfew."

"Semantics." She was arguing semantics. How very like me. "Don't be pedantic."

_Hypocrite!_

_That's hypocritical._

_Remind you of anyone?_

_Where would she get that?_

_Hypocrisy is a bitch._

_Up yours Eddie boy._

Wonderful. My family was in agreement. I was a hypocrite and Bella was still angry.

"Edward I hurt." I knew I had done her badly, I knew I had torn her life apart and stolen everything from her, but for Bella to speak it so bluntly hurt more than she could know. "I hurt a hell of a lot. You stole the only life I had ever known, and two parents who loved me deeply."

_Where is she going with this?_

My brain was chastising her methods of comfort. She really was not helping right now. She then tried to rectify what I had done, listing a weak side of positives.

"Do. Not. Try. To. Make. This. Alright." I spat through a clenched jaw. "I have done nothing short of the most horrendous crime known to man. I have stolen your life, in so many ways, and condemned you to an eternity of darkness and slaughter."

"And you have given me a lover. A beacon of light in that darkness you threw me into."

"I have only taken from you, not given. I haven't done anything to deserve your love." I turned away.

"So you'd rather I be angry with you?"

_She has a point._

"I suppose." Anything would be alright. She wasn't angry with me and she should've been. I had taken everything from her. She should've despised me. And that was when she snapped.

"And what fucking good would that do? Fine! I'm angry with you. I hate you for taking my humanity, for not killing me when you had the chance. I hate Alice for taking me to Carlisle, I hate Jasper for fighting you off. I hate all of you for ruining my life as I knew it! Happy? Do you feel happier now Edward? Is that what you wanted? Now I hate everyone, your family is completely guilty and sad and do you feel any better?"

I felt marginally better – that at least she had some ill-will towards me. The fact that she was swearing was a slap in the face, figuratively, also. I had never heard such violent curses flying from her mouth.

"I hate that I ever got out of that damn car. I hate that I ever moved to Forks. I hate that I was born female, I hate that my parents split up, I hate that vampires were even created in the first place. Are you better now Edward? Now that I'm full of hate? What good is it doing anyone? Does it change what happened? No. Does it change the future? Hell yes. We're all going to be fucking miserable for years to come."

As she continued it began to sound ridiculous. How could I expect her to harbour so many feelings of resentment and remorse. What good would it do? She had been right all along, to try and sweep it away.

"Bella." I interrupted, turning to her. I understood. I was feeling better already. She, however, continued to berate me, her existence and her future.

"Bella." I repeated, moving towards her. I was almost smiling now, although she hadn't taken note.

"Damn you Edward! Could you, for one second, pull yourself out of your 'well of misery' and take a look at the repercussions? You're a mind reader, for heaven's sake! You should be able to hear how this affects each and every family member. Or don't you care anymore? Are you too self-loathing that you don't care about anything except making yourself miserable?"

"Bella!" I said, a small smile on my face as I pushed my hand against her lips. She was right, 100% accurate. I was being stupid, irresponsible, self-loathing and masochistic, but I was hurting everyone else also. Where I should've been letting go, I grasped, and where I should've been grasping I let go. When she had finally calmed down, I kissed her, thanking her for every light she had shone into my dismal existence.

I hugged her firmly then and I felt her smile against me.

"Anytime."

It took a while before my family realised it was safe. Bella was still watching the sunrise, only in my arms, instead of from across the room.

_Yes! That would be so cool! Could we do that?_ Alice yelled mentally. She swooped into my room and kissed Bella firmly on the nose before dancing off again. _Could we book it online I wonder?_

_Why is Alice so suddenly excited?_

_Ooh – this means more fun crap, right Eddie boy?_

_It better not be another skydiving trip._

_Can't we all just stay home?_

_That all turned around really quickly, or kind of. It only took like a full night for you to get mad at each other, then half the day before you got forgiven. You two took longer than me and Em ever did._

I sighed as I clutched at Bella and she sighed against my body. Not even an hour after Alice had disappeared, she reappeared and stuffed us all into cars. I kept a firm hold on Bella, simply needing to be near the woman who, in a two minute speech, had infused everything my family had been telling me for a century into my brain. Why was everything so much clearer when she said it?

Carlisle had frequently implied my solitude disturbed him and Esme. Jasper and Alice had complained, and Emmett and Rosalie had eventually taken to ignoring me. I ran my fingers through her silky hair and wondered what I had done before she came into my life. Read, listened to music, gone to school and hunted. Bella, had in the span of a few short weeks, changed everything about the way I did things. She had shown me a world filled with possibilities to play with, both physically and emotionally.

She saw the world in a different way to all of us. Instead of being outside the candy store, pressing her face against the glass, or inside seeing the children watching outside, she saw the shop with no glass, with everything open to everyone, and everyone as special as their counterparts. She saw me as special, and for some reason, when she looked at me... I felt special.

Until this point, I had been driving, almost blindly, simply following the car in front of me. When it suddenly turned off of the busy street we were on, I checked the time and our surroundings. We had been driving for nearly three hours – the entire time we had all kept to ourselves – and were now pulling up to what looked like a large greenhouse of some sort. It took me but a moment to figure out we were at a butterfly conservatory. I looked worriedly over to Bella, but she was smiling. Hesitantly, but smiling.

"Bella?" I asked tentatively. Surely Alice wouldn't just bring her here on a whim.

"I want to make happier memories. In the last butterfly conservatory I went to, I did end up slipping on a slime covered rock. I sprained an ankle. Also... I want to share this with you. I remember it being so beautiful..." she shrugged and opened the door. I blinked a few times. When had I parked? The others were all standing, waiting for me, so I slid out of the car, wrapping an arm around Bella. This could be interesting.


	16. Man of Steel

**Here - It's back to normal, Bella POV. Here you go Chantal!**

* * *

Alice led us all inside and Rosalie closed her eyes, feeling, listening. I kept a hold of Edward as I listened to our surroundings. I could hear the thrum of a motor, a heater of some sort probably, designed to keep the greenhouse part moist and warm. We could hear the twittering of birds and hundreds of heartbeats, as well as running water and the chirps of various insects. Ugh, I hadn't realised just how many insects other than butterflies were going to be there. I carefully manoeuvred myself onto Edward's back, ignoring him when he asked what I was doing, randomly jumping up for a piggyback ride.

"Bella?"

"Doesn't matter right now. Just keep going. Believe me when I say it's worth it."

We all walked forward, pushing open the doors to the conservatory. Various scents hit us along with the wall of hot damp air as we walked through. Thick flowers, like jasmine, fragranced the air, and the smell of slightly stale water hit us too. There was a slight scent of damp rotting wood also, no doubt from a bridge somewhere over the river that – from what we could see – wound around the garden.

The trees rustled with the bird's activities and there was light, but not sunlight, practically falling through the ceiling. We all split up and began walking around, looking at the beautiful sights before us. All of the Cullen family had their hands firmly at their sides, except Esme, who was gently caressing a gardenia flower.

"It's so beautiful in here." Alice cried happily as she pulled Jasper down a path away from us. I was still firmly latched onto Edward, who was looking back over his shoulder at me curiously.

"You alright?"

"Yep. I just didn't realise how many other insects there are here." I admitted, smiling sheepishly. He chuckled and hoisted me around himself, so he was carrying me bridal style.

"If I promise not to let any bugs hurt you, will you walk properly with me?" he asked. I was almost offended. First of all – I knew no bugs could hurt me, they still scared me out of my mind. Second – I thought he liked holding me.

"Oh, I do." He said. Oops; I'd been projecting my thoughts. "I just want you to enjoy this, not regret it later. I'd be happy and content to carry you around the entire garden, but I know you actually want to experience the conservatory."

I slowly got down and kept a strong hold on his arm as we slowly walked forward. I took the time to really look around. The lush greenery was beautiful, the stones on the floor damp, but what really caught my eye were the hundreds of butterflies. I had not realised just how magnificently coloured they truly were. The detail I could see in their wings astonished me also.

Where some butterflies, to the human eye, blended in perfectly as leaves or bark, they stood out like a pink jumpsuit at a funeral to vampire vision. Butterflies quivered ever so gently, as they rested on the surfaces of trees, their wings catching the smallest of breezes. I could focus in on the tiny hairs on their bodies and see their antennae quiver as we neared. In the distance we heard a few sighs as the others took in the sights.

A butterfly bravely flew to me and landed on my arm. I smiled and slowly, incredibly slowly, moved it up to my eye level. It was beautiful, blue and black in colour.

"Ulysses butterfly." Edward informed me, backing off slightly as I brought the butterfly closer to him. I looked at him curiously. He looked almost... scared.

"Why are you scared of a butterfly?" I asked. He smirked, more like grimaced at me.

"I'm not scared of the butterfly, I'm scared of... well hurting it." He admitted, gently pushing my arm away again. I held onto him firmly.

"Just keep still, feel relaxed." I told him, as I slid my finger under the blue butterfly. I lifted her off of my arm and let her crawl onto Edward's open palm. As the beautiful insect crawled around on his palm, a smile broke out on his face. "She tickles, doesn't she?"

"Yes. It's quite beautiful. She seems to have no fear of us either." Edward mused, as he watched the butterfly crawl up his forearm. At that point, two other butterflies landed on him. One on his hair and the other clung to his shirt. I watched as his eyes moved around nervously. He looked so unsure of what to do, freezing in his pose as I watched him.

I turned my head up and looked around at the other butterflies I could see. I caught a glimpse of Rosalie, who was holding a monarch butterfly in her hand, and Emmett who – don't ask me how – had managed to get six, from what I could see, attached to him. Esme came up behind us then, her hand entwined with Carlisle's.

"Wow, it seems Edward has made a few friends." Esme laughed lightly. I turned around and there was yet another one perched on him, this one on his shoulder.

"Tiger swallowtail, peacock and goliath birdwing butterflies." Carlisle said. I turned to him.

"How do you two know so much about butterflies?" I asked. He smiled and looked at Esme.

"I taught them. I love flowers and the butterflies that visit them. I constantly tell Edward and Carlisle about all kinds that visit my various gardens, along with the one I wish would visit."

Esme smiled and wrapped her hand around mine.

"How are you holding up dear?" she asked. I smiled.

"It's so much more intriguing now – there are so many small details I didn't notice the first time round."

"You have Edward's hairstreak on you." Carlisle smiled. I frowned, trying to make sense of the sentence. Carlisle reached forward and brushed my hair. I still didn't understand. Until he brought his hand back. On it was perched a brown butterfly, with stripes around the edges of the wings.

"Satyrodes edwardsi. Common name is Edward's hairstreak." The butterfly was quite beautiful and I smiled at the name.

"Edward, you should keep this guy. Are there any others with similar names to any of the Cullens?"

"They have butterflies here from the Jasper ridge, but I don't think that counts." Esme laughed.

"Or Bob Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses." Emmett yelled, scaring a few birds in the process.

"That's a song, you twit!" Rosalie yelled.

"Utetheisa bella." Alice said. Pointing to a moth that was flying close to the wall. It was pink and very girly. I smiled. I was infinitely glad I had brought the Cullens here. Kudos points to Alice, for we had not encountered a single human yet, and I couldn't hear any heartbeats in the immediate area. We all continued to walk through the gardens, watching the beautiful butterflies flitter around.

It was so strange being able to hear their wingbeats, and hearing the heartbeats of every bird in the place. It was beautiful here, serene and yet very busy at the same time. Like our family really. We had a very calm exterior, very solitary creatures by nature, but throw us all together and we were flurries of excitement and movement. Alone we were pretty, together we were a sensory overload of beauty.

I pulled Edward to a bench and we sat down together, simply watching and listening to the others. Rosalie and Emmett were having fun, Emmett, somehow ending up in the stale water, while Rosalie had a pair of butterflies in her hair. Esme and Carlisle were walking peacefully together, as if no other people were in the garden, simply talking, and observing and loving every moment of it. Alice and Jasper were actually holding a trio of birds, two clinging to Jasper's fingers and one to Alice, who was talking to it animatedly, about interesting and cute bird names.

And then there was Edward and I. He still had the multitude of butterflies clinging to him. He looked more at peace with it though, not so scared about breaking them. I had a couple on me also, I could hear them quivering. Edward was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing on the planet, and quite frankly, I felt it.

I wondered how I must have looked to him, a smile on my face, my hair heavier and less curly with the moisture clinging to it, butterflies perched on my hair. He seemed to like what he saw though, because he leaned towards me and kissed me gently, sliding his hand, carefully around my neck.

I'd say the conservatory was a success. Everyone managed to keep themselves occupied all afternoon, and we all had to gently shake off the multicoloured butterflies from our clothes and hair. It was then that the universe decided I'd been calm long enough. A massive, and I mean insanely large centipede, chose that point to drop from a tree into my hair. I'm ashamed to say I panicked. I screamed and tried to claw it out of my hair, creating an awful metal-on-metal sound. Edward grabbed my hands quickly, pulling me close to him. I heard that awful crunch sound, accompanied by a squelch and Edward was instantly soothing me.

"You're safe. It's alright, it's dead. You're okay." He said, pulling me closer.

I was shaking. The others were surprised, for the most part at the intensity of my reaction. Edward said nothing, but he continued to smooth my hair down and hug me close. After a few minutes I was as calm as if nothing had happened. Surely Edward would see how weak I was, how unworthy I was of his affection. There was no such change in his demeanour. He looked at me just as lovingly as he had when we were sitting together on the bench. God, I loved this man.

As we got out into the Volvo, Alice squeaked in surprise.

"Adorable! Can we keep it please?" she asked. We all turned to look at her, confused. She then reached forward and pulled a butterfly from my hair. It had gotten trapped in my curls.

"Edward's hairstreak!" Jasper chuckled.

"We definitely have to keep it. We can call it Bronze." I said. They looked at me like I was insane.

"Edward's hair is bronze. Any streak in his hair would be bronze, thus the name for the butterfly, despite the actual wings not being bronze. Okay?" I explained, rolling my eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Alice giggled a little, handing me Bronze.

"How many more friends are we going to adopt? We have Steve, Cinnia and now Bronze."

"Does Steve have to keep coming up? How many times are we going to keep bringing him up? He's not even real." Rosalie sighed. We all turned around shocked. Not real? How was Steve not real?

Emmett clutched at his heart frantically.

"First the Easter bunny, then the tooth fairy, then Steve. Now you're gonna be telling me Santa doesn't exist!"

I was only half sure he was joking.


	17. Modern Girl

**AN – a few things I didn't mention in the last chapter. One of my reviewers asked what twittering meant, but I also think they wanted to know what twit meant. Twit is a pregnant bird – I think – but is a common insult in England. **

**Also I have written a new one shot. I already had Pros and Cons, (an insert between Eclipse and BD), but now I have A Week in Their Shoes (all human, but you learn things) check it out if you're bored. :)**

In the next few days, nothing exciting happened. Edward and I did spend a lot of time together though. We read together in Carlisle's library and bought some books for mine, but we never really talked. I was content though, we both were. At times we sat facing each other, and would occasionally sneak glances at each other, at others we were side by side, sometimes reading from the same book. At others, we were back to back, his bronze hair entwined with mine. I don't know how much time passed. It was wonderful though, and we were extremely calm and simply happy.

It wasn't long though, before Alice complained that Edward was monopolizing me. She managed to drag me away, and Rosalie swiftly joined us. I rolled my eyes and tried to forget the fact that I was being forced into various shopping outings just by being in the immediate vicinity. I could see Alice speculating, her mind going a thousand miles a minute as she thought of different shopping exhibitions. I couldn't wait until she'd learn I truly despised shopping and just started to go without me.

She could go without me. It was worth a shot. However, as soon as I opened my mouth:

"No. You're coming."

"Can Edward come with?" I asked. He yelled from his bedroom next.

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't volunteer me for torture. Even with ladies so beautiful as you." He added. Rosalie and Alice 'oohed' and rolled their eyes. I wiggled out of their grip for a second. When I walked back into Edward's room, I walked right up to him, bringing my mouth centimetres away from his hear, so I could whisper efficiently.

"But I wanted to perhaps corner you in a dressing room somewhere." I moaned quietly. Was that my original intention, no, but if it got Edward to come, I'd gladly make out with him in a dressing room. What some people do for their own protection. Who was I kidding? It had now become my first priority.

Edward only thought about it for a second. In that second he blinked, and swallowed, then nodded, leaning down to brush his lips against my own ear. He slid his hand up so it was in my hair and squeezed gently.

"Sounds wonderful. When do we leave?" he asked.

.

As we were trudging around the shops – well I was trudging; Edward was gliding, Alice was dancing and Rosalie was strutting – I linked hands with Edward, who seemed to find my sadness funny.

"You didn't have to come you know. I wasn't going to force you." I muttered. He leaned in and whispered into my ear:

"I was going to come anyway, your offer just made it all that more enticing a trip."

"You were going to come?"

"Of course. I'd rather you came back alive and partially happy. Well, not obviously _alive_, but you get the idea." He muttered back. I laughed and snuggled myself closer to him. Because Edward was attending, he also got forced into the occasional outfit. Alice seemed to know his exact sizes and tastes.

"If she knows what fits you, why does she make you try it on anyway?"

"Because she's Alice." Edward said, leading me into a dressing room, while Rose and Alice were off arguing about something. He pressed me gently, but firmly, against the wall of the dressing room, kissing me with enough passion to make my knees weak.

His hands wrapped around my body, mine around his neck, and through his hair. His kisses were so gentle, but completely lustful. He conveyed so much love and want together in a few simple kisses that it was overwhelmingly emotional. He broke off the attack on my mouth and began to trail his lips down my neck, humming gently as he went. The sensation was indescribable. My mouth found his ear and I tugged gently on it, eliciting a stronger hum from him. Before we got too carried away we both stopped, slowing our kisses to simple brushes against each other's lips.

"That made this entire shopping trip worth it." I whispered against his lips, we both had our eyes closed, our faces almost completely touching, our bodies still pressed close against each other. He chuckled in agreement.

We left the dressing room, only to find that nearly ten minutes had passed and neither Alice nor Rose had noticed our absence. Totally worth it. Our hands clasped again.

"Has it always been like this?" I asked.

"Oh yes. She's actually gotten better. In the fifties, eighties, and nineties she was terrible." Edward sighed.

"And in the sixties and seventies I was insufferable, correct Edward?" she yelled back at us. That was right. Edward and the other Cullens had survived the fashion disaster era. Alice leaned over to me.

"We shall show you pictures once we get home."

"Please don't." Edward asked, looking incredibly serious. Alice simply grinned and danced off.

I now was the most enthusiastic shopper, trying desperately to hurry things along. I wanted to see all of them in the different clothing periods. I wondered idly if Emmett or Jasper had ever done mullets, and if Alice and Rosalie had ever done platform shoes and bright-neon patterns. When they showed me the pictures later, with everyone present, I desperately tried to contain the giggles.

They showed pictures of the less scandalous times, when women were still required to wear full length skirts, and the men wore waistcoats and pocket watches. Eventually it eased into the narrow-waist, knee length poufy dresses and tightly curled hair. After that the skirts got shorter and the colours more vibrant. Eventually I found Alice in white platform boots with a mini-skirt dress in highlighter yellow and electric green. It had long sleeves, flared at the end, but a tight body.

I found Rosalie in a similar outfit, with a headband and humongous earrings, her shoes gold stilettos. Esme was the more sensible of the bunch, wearing a long flowing skirt and a simple shirt, with rose coloured glasses perched on her nose. I took a look at the boy's pictures. Ha. Ha. Ha.

All of them had hideously bright garments. For Emmett it was his shirt, Edward it was his shoes, Jasper it was his belt and Carlisle it was his pants. They all had tight clothing, which was very revealing of their fantastic figures, and stripes. Wow.

The next one was of the eighties and I had to physically bite my lip to stop from laughing. The girls were wearing high rise skinny jeans and jackets with shoulder pads. The boys, it suited Emmett, but not so much the other two, had faded, tight ripped jeans, leather jackets and muscle shirts. Ouch. As I found Edward, in the muscle shirt and tight jeans, the jacket slung over his shoulder instead, I nearly thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

"Ouch." I whispered. He looked at me curiously and I shrugged. "You should definitely wear this stuff again. Tight clothing does you guys well."

That earned a laugh and a few whistles from the others. I would have blushed were I human. Emmett sighed and reclined.

"Roller rinks were awesome. Can we do that again?" he asked. Alice laughed.

"There aren't any roller rinks in Alaska, besides you can't go skating with only eight people."

"Then invite other people. Tanya's group or something."

"Thirteen people. In a roller rink... no." Rosalie said. I could see this was about to escalate, so I asked a simple alternative.

"How about we just take a boom box to a skating rink?"

They all looked at me like I'd brought down the ten commandments, revelling and in awe. Rose jumped out of her seat, heading towards the computer to find out about renting a skating rink. Emmett went to go buy an awesomely huge boom box. Edward took me to go help him choose suitable music, and Carlisle and Esme went to go invite the Denali Clan. Alice disappeared, mumbling about skating outfits, and I suddenly regretted the idea. A skating outfit meant an extremely short dress. I looked over at Edward, his body figure fantastically displayed. Well, if Alice went full skating gear...


	18. Lost Boys & Golden Girls

**AN - I didn't make this clear in the last chapter, but I meant ice skating, not skating skating. Sorry for the delay - life has been hectic.**

* * *

Alice went nearly full skating gear. Our ice skates themselves were beautiful; Alice made us try them all on to see if they would fit. Instead of standard white, black or even skin-toned colour, she had specifically designed them all for us. Rosalie's matched her outfit. She had a beautiful, short –very short – red dress with gold sparkles covering the bodice. The skates were the exact shade of red and had gold sparkles on them also. She looked like a figure skating goddess. Alice had a sky-blue dress, that was a little longer on one side than the other, and had silver patterns sewn into it. Esme's dress was longer – to her knees, and white, but if flowed unlike any fabric I had ever seen. Even more so than the dress I had worn when I said goodbye to Charlie.

Emmett had a skin tight shirt, which was black, with gold embellishment. His pants were black and his skates matched his shirt. Jasper was in blue, his shirt having a large v-neck that dipped extremely low. Carlisle was in white, his shirt similar to Jasper's, but sleeveless. Edward was – by my request – in green. His muscles were incredible, just as I had remembered them from the shower incident, and now I was free to ogle them. His shirt was more like an undone waistcoat, being tucked into the extremely tight black pants he was wearing. He looked beyond god like. I was practically drooling. I was sure Jasper could feel the lust pouring off of me, but I gave no outward sign of appreciation.

My dress was the length of Esme's and was the same emerald green Edward was donning. It had darker green panels in the skirt though, so it looked like a different green. I was actually really happy with it – I looked beautiful. Edward seemed to think so anyway. He wouldn't take his eyes off of me as I twirled in my new outfit, not falling over in the skates.

We all drove to the skating rink in our outfits, though we opted to put our skates on once we arrived. Made sense really. Edward kneeled in front of me, as I was sitting on one of the benches and deftly laced up my skates for me, running his hand sensually up and down my calf. His feather-light touches were driving me insane. He carried me to the ice and I could feel the reduction in temperature. HE put me down first and my feet nearly slid from under me.

I had only ever ice-skated a few times as a child and only usually on my bottom. Being upright on ice, despite my superior balance skills, was a little unnerving. I gripped tightly to Edward who chuckled, although he too looked a little unsure at first. Esme and Carlisle got straight into it and before long I could see them performing the most beautiful dance. Carlisle would lift Esme up suddenly and twirl her around, her dress flittering with the motion. They looked incredible, like fashion models or something. So inhumanly beautiful that their dance looked almost ethereal.

Rosalie and Emmett were performing a more sultry dance, to their own beat also, and watching the two couples on the same rink was a little odd. They both clearly had their own beats, their own counts, but they didn't match. I didn't understand how they could do it. Alice and Jasper were simply racing around the edge, nearly knocking me over in the process. I tentatively began skating forward, Edward, holding onto my hands, began skating backwards.

I bit my lip gently until he brought his fingertips to it, gently stroking my lip until I let go. He leaned forward and picked me up gently, circling with me in his arms. After a bit he put me back on the ice, but continued to turn. We were now circling together. We broke apart, only to come back together and Edward began skating us faster. He flipped me backwards, then slid me between his legs, before pulling me back up sharply. I was in the air for a few seconds and suddenly Edward's hands were under my waist and he pushed me into the air.

I suddenly understood how easy it was to dance to your own tune. Edward and I were creating a dance pattern, skating around on the ice together, just as the others had made their own patterns. By this point Emmett and Carlisle were racing, Alice and Jasper were dancing and Rosalie and Esme were watching the dances. Alice and Jasper moved so quickly and happily, like they had been skating for years. Edward and I felt a little clumsier, but we were still dancing beautifully together. I didn't know I could move that gracefully.

Eventually we joined the others in the races. Alice said that there was no surveillance system in the rink, so we could go as fast as we wanted without needing to worry. The boys were very good at racing, but not so good at stopping. Emmett crashed into the metal side panel and left a huge dent. Alice simply vaulted over the side and banged it back out from the other side. It didn't look perfect, but it didn't look like a vampire had beaten the crap out of it either. They raced very well, speeding so quickly down the ice. Although it was a massive skating rink and they were circling it to increase the track length, it still seemed too small for them.

They were almost streaks of colour darting around the edges. I couldn't believe how sexy the men looked. They had the bodies of Greek gods and the movements of lithe dancers. You wouldn't believe that this was their first time in an ice rink. They had been to skating rinks, like wheels on shoes, but not ice skating before. It was hard to believe, especially with their agility in skates and their remarkable balance. The races let Edward win pretty much every time.

The girls, not with me included, decided to try their hand at jumping. I wouldn't leave the bench and Edward came to sit with me as we watched them go. Alice twisted and turned in the air, Rosalie flipped and spun and Esme floated like a bubble in the breeze. They all looked fantastically gorgeous.

"I would have thought you would be one of the ones eager to jump. Especially with all of the gymnastics you were so enthusiastic about."

"I was only enthusiastic about that because I was curious, and because..." I stopped, biting my lip gently. Edward caught my face with his hands and pulled my gaze up to his.

"What?"

"Because you were doing it with me. You were helping me, and I felt safe, confident almost." I admitted. His smile lit up his face and he pulled me to my feet, practically throwing me onto the ice.

We began skating together quickly and Edward crouched in preparation for a jump. I bent my legs also and suddenly he began pushing up and twisting. I mirrored his actions and suddenly we were both airborne, our bodies automatically spreading and balancing as we flew through the air. I couldn't help but smile as we both landed, at exactly the same moment. We both stopped and Edward pulled me into a quick, gentle kiss.

"Not so bad?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not so bad."

After that Edward began leading me through the jumps and I flew through the air multiple times. Sometimes he would throw me, sometimes we would both jump together and sometimes we would be on opposite sides of the rink and jump towards each other. Our jumps were much longer than any human's could possibly get, so we were able to do flips and twists in larger numbers. I loved it and I loved being so close to Edward without needing to touch him. We were insanely connected and I felt so powerful.

We didn't even notice that the others were simply watching us until we heard Rosalie talk about how we were monopolizing the rink. I looked over to the side to see that Kate, Irina, Tanya, Carmen and Eleazar had arrived, dressed in similar skating apparel. We asked the others to join us and soon we were all in an intricate dance, looking like a scene from a choreographed movie. In reality we were all just improvising and reading each other, seeing what the others were doing and matching or countering them. It was so fun, if we were human we would have been exhausted. Kate and Irina were having a whole bunch of fun, especially when Emmett or Jasper would invite them to a skating duet. Tanya did not dance with any of the men, probably because Edward never left my side. I felt slightly possessive and very lucky. As we weren't, we continued, until finally an alarm went off somewhere. We looked to Alice, who skated over to her bag.

"It's time to go guys. We've been in here nearly eight hours."

We all looked back at the rink. It looked as though it had been used by hundreds of people over the course of days, not just several people in eight hours. I smiled as we all changed out of our now heavily used skates. They were holding on, barely, especially when it came to the boys, who had pretty much abused them. Eleazar had been fantastic when it came to racing also, nearly beating Edward.

As we left, an old man began walking towards us. Jasper and Alice were inside, Rose and Emmett were already in the car, Esme and Carlisle were still taking off their skates inside, with most of the Denali clan. Edward moved between me and him and I shook my head. I could do this. He nodded politely to me and I smiled back, still breathing normally.

His scent burned in my lungs, in my throat, and venom filled my mouth extremely quickly, but I never actually wanted to attack him. My smile grew after we had created a sufficient gap between his beating heart and my ready-to-kill body. I threw my arms around Edward instead.

"I didn't hurt him!" I sighed happily.

"That you didn't, love."


	19. I Would Do Anything For Love

We drove home with me now in a spectacular mood. I was happier than life itself, despite Tanya mumbling about how the man was 'old, weak and unappealing anyway'. I didn't believe it for a second, neither did Edward, as he simply raised his eyebrows and shook his head, turning his smile back to me. I was acting like a child at Christmas, but I really didn't care. He pulled me tight to his chest and chuckled gently as Jasper started blowing raspberries at me, my mood overwhelming him. I smiled and shrugged.

Eleazar was looking at Edward curiously. Edward frowned gently and shook his head. I poked him, inquiring. Edward debated with himself for a moment before rolling his eyes and simply repeating it out loud.

"Eleazar is under the mistaken impression that I've got bipolar disorder." He sighed. I laughed outright at that. I could agree with the statement; there were so many times when Edward was distant and shadowy and at others he was laughing and messing around as if he were five years old.

"It's only since you have acquired dear Bella, Edward, that your mood significantly lightened. I thank you, Isabella, for knocking some sense into the lad." He smiled, shaking my hand gently, making me laugh yet again.

When we all got back to our home Emmett started up a giant snowball fight, despite us all still being in our beautiful and expensive, skating outfits. Edward and I immediately formed a team. Emmett started randomly shooting, and I mean violently shooting, snowballs at thin air. The Denali clan was completely confused, but Edward fell to the ground laughing.

"Die Steve, die! It's all his brain is thinking."

"Gotta love Emmett."

His ultimate plan was distraction though, while we were all musing and or laughing at Emmett's tactics, Rosalie pummelled us all with snowballs, making them the winning team. I had to hand it to them, every once in a while he could be extremely devious and cunning.

We all then had to change and get comfortable and dry. I was done first and I could hear the others talking downstairs. I slid into Edwards room, looking for one of my favourite shirts of his. I found the emerald green one, and slid it over the tank top I was already wearing. It smelt wonderful and felt warm, like him.

"You look fantastic in my clothes." He said suddenly from the door. He was wearing only a towel, wrapped tightly around his waist. I would've blushed, but all I could do was casually bite my lip and (this took a lot of effort) look to the floor, wrapping my hands behind my back to avoid temptation. Why did he have to be so insanely perfect.

"Wow." I muttered. He chuckled in response.

"Alice stole our outfits. You were the only one to change quickly enough that she didn't get to you."

"Wait! You mean everyone is...?"

"No. She gave them clothing in return, me she gives a towel, and now I know why." He walked confidently towards me, but I could see the awkwardness in his eyes.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." I reminded him, keeping my eyes locked on his. _I will not look at his body. I will not look at his body._ If only.

He was so incredibly toned, built like a statue carved in ancient Greece, or a drawing by one of the masters, perfectly proportioned, perfectly sculpted, just simple perfect. I felt so hideous beside him, and yet, as I looked into his eyes, for a fraction of a second I felt insanely beautiful. The way he was looking at me left no doubt in my mind that he thought me the most beautiful creature alive. I reached up to kiss him gently and he placed his arms around my waist, gently. That was when I felt that he was still wet and now ruining the shirt I had just put on.

"Hey!" I said, pushing him away. He chuckled and disappeared into his closet.

I walked downstairs to find Alice looking completely innocent. Oh she had mastered the look well. I seriously _almost_ couldn't tell she'd done anything. I walked straight past her and ignored her completely. This confused her more than anything else. She could probably see all of the nasty things I was thinking about saying; stop messing around with Edward and I, get your nose out of other people's business, etc., but I hadn't done any of them. She eyed me suspiciously as I curled up into a ball and waited for Edward. At this point I saw Tanya out of the corner of my eye, practically glowering at me. I looked over to her, confused at first, but suddenly Kate put her hand on Tanya's leg and she hissed almost imperceptibly with the pain. I was the only one, apart from Edward who noticed the whole exchange.

He came down shortly after, wearing one of _my_ shirts. My mouth fell open as he sat down beside me, wearing the shirt. It was not apparent, to anyone but us, as the shirt was a simple black one, androgynous for the most part and fashionably tight on him. On me it was loose. The words on the front were silly, nerdy even.

_There are 10 types of people in the world:  
Those who understand binary.  
Those who don't._

He pulled me closer to him and I chuckled slightly. We were acting like children, laying claims on each other. Cats peed on things they wanted, children grabbed a hold and never let go, we exchanged shirts. Well more like stole...

"Twenty questions!" Alice yelled. "Bella... when is your birthday?"

I blinked a couple of times, thinking about the question, and the date.

"Um, it doesn't matter." I said.

"Yes it does." Edward said, looking intensely at me. No it really didn't. When I was human I hated people doing things for my birthday. Now that I was a vampire, and they had unlimited monetary resources, I seriously didn't want them to do anything. At all.

"Soon." I said. What was today? The Cullens were in the middle of summer holidays, that much I knew. July/August. Somewhere in there. How had I not kept track of the days?

"Bella!" Esme pleaded. I shut my eyes and clamped my hands over my ears. No way. There was no way in hell people were going to start making me confess something like this. Edward pulled my hand off of my ear and whispered into it.

"If you don't tell me when your birthday is, I'll give you a gift every day, to make sure I don't miss it."

"Not fair!" I whined. He laughed gently and mouthed the word 'please'.

"September." I said.

"That's still thirty gifts you will be receiving." Edward smiled. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish a couple of times.

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to go overboard. All of you have to promise!" I said. Alice whined a little but nodded her head. The rest raised their hands in an 'I swear' motion.

"Thirteenth." I mumbled.

"Twelve days! I only have twelve days to find something!?!" Alice yelled. Apparently it was September. She raced off somewhere, leaving the rest of us behind in a kind of daze.

"What the hell is that?" Kate asked, pointing to the glass tank we had in the other room. Bronze. We then had to explain to her all about the butterfly trip and the little escapee. They adored the little creature, loving the environment we had set up for it. Esme had done that. In other countries she had her gardens, but in Alaska she couldn't exactly do that. So she had dedicated her free time to creating a glorious home for Bronze, who was currently fluttering around happily.

"Why do you not want to celebrate your birthday?" Carmen asked me suddenly.

"I don't want them to go out of their way for me. They've done that enough already. Plus, I didn't like it as a human, why would now be any different?" I asked. She nodded in understanding. Edward wrapped his arms around me a moment later.

"Will you permit me to take you somewhere for your birthday? I will buy you nothing, as long as you let me do this." He proposed. I thought about it for a minute.

"When is your birthday?"

"June twentieth, nineteen-oh-one. Please?"

"Fine. Old man." I teased and squirmed away as he tried to tickle me. The rest of the day was uneventful, especially after the Denali clan left again.

"Why was Tanya glaring at me?" I asked, as soon as I knew they were no longer in range.

"She recognised my shirt on you and thought you were rubbing it in that I had fallen for you and not her and so was not really glaring per se, so much as staring evilly." Edward said, all in one breath, making light of the situation. I laughed, of course and repeated the sentence, adding sentence stops where they should have been.

"She recognised the shirt on me. She thought I was rubbing it in, that you had fallen for me, not her, so was – not really glaring, per se – so much as staring evilly."

"Yes." Edward nodded.

"Oi." I mumbled in exasperation. Edward laughed and we went upstairs to his room, to read together, or something similar.

The week passed by surprisingly uneventfully. So did the next one. We all had a movie marathon. Emmett chose first.

"Interview with a Vampire!"

"Dracula!"

"Underworld!"

"Van Helsing!"

There seemed to be a certain theme with the movie choices. Something about a type of mythological creature displayed in all of them... oh yeah. Vampires. Vampires wanting to watch movies about vampires. Oh the irony. The girls chose good ones though.

"Memoirs of a Geisha."

"Kite Runner."

"Slumdog Millionaire."

"The Color Purple."

All about human rights violations if I wasn't mistaken.

"Italian Job."

"Speed."

"Star Wars."

"Armageddon."

"City of Angels."

"Pride and Prejudice."

The list went on. I don't think any of us left the room for days, except Carlisle, who had to work. My brain was filled with plots and characters, quotes and settings... To 'stretch' we all ended up hunting, running around, spreading out, playing tag. I had never felt so childish and carefree. And then my birthday just happened to swing around.

Alice got me dressed, a beautiful sparkling blue dress, and then went and got Edward dressed. He ended up in a tux. Where the hell were we going? No one would answer any questions, though everyone knew.

We slid into his Vanquish and he began speeding down the highway.

"What music do you want?"

"I don't know. Enigma." I answered. The Cross of Changes was put on and I revelled in the car's sound system. Incredible. Absolutely fantastic. Edward pulled a black scarf out of his pocket.

"Would you please wear this, and hold your breath?" he asked as we were winding down a long road. I complied, mumbling slightly. I relied primarily on my hearing. What was that? Beyond the music, I could swear I could hear planes. Flying. We were flying somewhere. What part of 'don't go overboard' didn't they get?

**AN – Life gets in the way. This will probably be my last update for a little while. From the 19-25 I will be in Ottawa with limited access to computers, so I won't post that week. The week after maybe. I have two other stories to post for this week too, and then a week of nothing. :( Love you all, thanks for being patient.**


	20. A Man and A Woman

We did indeed get on a plane. Edward ran his fingers gently down my arm as he guided me with his other one, up the steps and into what sounded like a large, but quiet room. I expected to be able to run my hands down the backs of chairs, and find whatever seat we were taking, but there were no seats within my grasp. What kind of a plane had no seats? The answer; a private one. I could hear four heartbeats in total, two for the pilots, and two for the attendants. I listened intently to the heartbeats of the two attendants, and also their increase in heartbeat whenever Edward addressed or spoke to one of the women. It took all of my strength not to laugh.

Edward led me to a leather sofa and left my side for a moment, with the words 'stay put'. I heard him walk off.

"Can I help you Mr Cullen?"

"Two things." He said. I heard the rustle of paper and then no more conversation. He was purposefully shutting them up, so I would have no inkling of where we were going. I would have been more mad at him, if it weren't so damn cute. When he returned to me I poked my tongue out at him. I heard a chuckle from beside me.

"Careful love, or I may just bite that off."

I stuck out my tongue again, only to be surprised when his teeth suddenly enclosed around my tongue. We both laughed slightly, then began kissing. It seemed as though the removal of my sight amplified the feelings and the sensations. He tasted so much sweeter, felt so much softer, We could both hear the two attendants whispering when they thought they were out of earshot.

_Did you see how handsome he was?_

_Who's the girl with him? She's beautiful too._

_He's surprising her! What I wouldn't give to date a guy like that!_

That kind of broke us apart and we smothered more laughter as many other similar comments were heard. I raised my hand to the blindfold, only to find my hands suddenly encased by his.

"Please?" I asked. "I promise not to look out of the window."

"No Bella. You will find out when I let you." He replied.

"Did I mention I hate surprises?"

"Did I mention, you look rather adorable when you're miffed?"

"I am not miffed."

"Yes you are." His voice was so musical, so happy that I couldn't possibly deny him this. I pretended to still be 'miffed' though. I sat back a little and sighed loudly.

"Can you not give me one hint?"

"It is something you will enjoy immensely."

Not helpful. The flight to wherever we were going took two hours, I heard one of the attendants comment on the time, and Edward's slight growl of disapproval. In their defence, they did not know that we had the super-intense-hearing abilities to be able to pick up on their whispered comments from the other side of the plane. Soon enough though, Edward placed his hands over my ears, as the beginning of a landing approval sounded on the pilot's radio. That was my chance to find out where we were going, and I was hedging on the fact that Edward would have forgotten it. He didn't.

After the plane landed, Edward helped me out and into another car. Without any instruction, the driver started the car and began driving. I felt the turns of the vehicle, the heartbeat and breathing of the driver, even the slight vibrations of sound in the car, but none of it told me where we were going. It smelt more like a city, wherever we were. Eventually Edward picked me up and carried me, bridal style into a building. As soon as we entered, I used my senses to determine where we were.

The building smelt musky and it had an old feel to it. Barely anyone was there, as there were no heartbeats, and the only ones were distant. What I could hear though was the tuning of what sounded like instruments. I felt the air around me change direction as Edward began carrying me up a flight of stairs. By this time I had become so used to my blindness that I almost forgot I had sight. When Edward eventually tugged the blindfold of gently, I had to repress a gasp of surprise.

The floor was red velvet, though I could not feel it as I was still in Edward's arms. Everywhere else seemed to be a mix of gold and black. Edward pushed us through a black curtain and suddenly I realised where we were. I wasn't sure in what city, or in what country (though it was probably America), but we were in a theatre of some sort. We were in the center of the audience, but above the stage, on a balcony. I felt not unlike Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. We were not seeing an opera however.

"I know how much you enjoy Disney movies, so perhaps, you might enjoy a different perspective on one of the most classic tales. This is a ballet performance of Sleeping Beauty." Edward explained, watching me carefully for my reaction. I smiled so hard that my lips may have touched my ears.

"Edward! It's wonderful! You shouldn't have gone to all of this trouble!" I said, kissing him furiously and hugging him extremely tightly. He laughed again and the lights around us dimmed. I couldn't help but notice the conspicuous absence of people in the theatre. Of course Edward had rented the entire theatre – he wanted us to be alone and certainly had the money to do so. I was slightly annoyed by that, but would be angry later.

The dancers were dressed so elaborately, and beautifully, their movements well timed to the music. The story was incredible and my mind was fortunately capturing every minute of it, the splendour and the emotion in every movement, in the settings and of course in the music. One thing I did notice though, was, as I stared at the dancers, every now and then I would feel immensely happy, and, by coincidence, they would smile just a little more. Edward seemed to be picking up on my mood too, as he was as elated as I was.

I don't know quite how it happened, but all too soon there were beautiful colours shining around the dancers. Most seemed to have yellow and orange around their bodies, some had blue and green too. Only one had a white colour about her and it seemed rather negative. The more I focused on the dancers, the more the colours seemed to appear, until they melded, dancer and colour moving brilliantly around the stage. Too quickly, the dances ended and the story wrapped up, with a glorious happy ending. I would have been crying, were I human, but my mind was so buzzed and blissful about being here that I couldn't even take the smile off of my face. I turned to Edward and he had a contemplative look on his face.

"Did you see it too?" I asked. He looked to me, his brow more furrowed.

"See what Bella?" he asked in return. At first, I thought he was playing with me, but the look in his eyes told me that he really didn't know what I was talking about. I smiled and shrugged.

"The dancer with a scowl on her face." I said. He relaxed slightly, though I could see he knew I was holding back. As I stared at him though, blue, pink and red started to flash around his body, much as the dancers on stage had. I was so busy contemplating the colours that I missed Edward's question the first time.

"Pardon?"

"How long have we known each other?"

"I don't know. A year or so. More like two if you count nights as days." I watched him very carefully now, focusing on him instead of the array of changing colours around him. He seemed anxious somehow, but determined still. "What city are we in?" I asked.

"Do you love me?"

"More than life itself." I answered, without a second thought, or even really a _first_ thought. Edward smiled at the swiftness of my answer. "What city are we in?" I repeated.

"And you have no idea how long I've waited for you. You are so much more to me than you could ever realise. Everything I do, I wonder whether or not you would approve, whether or not you would enjoy doing it with me." He blinked twice and smiled. "Don't take that out of context."

I laughed a little. Was he purposefully trying to avoid telling me what city we were in? I felt exactly the same way about everything I did too, always wondering how he perceived me more than anyone else. I felt almost stalkerish at times; I could name every one of his favourite bands, his favourite colours, flowers, days, people, holidays, stones and the reasoning behind all of them. I knew and memorised every inch of his face and smell, so much so that, I felt like I knew every part of him and could pick him out easily from a crowd, with a blindfold on.

"What city are we in?" I asked again. We couldn't be anywhere near Alaska, they had no theatre and I had detected no extreme reduction in temperature as we had gotten out of the car.

"Would you marry me?"

I blinked once, trying to process the question. Edward, my Edward, the Edward Cullen, wanted to marry me?

"Why?"

EPOV

"Why?" she asked. She looked to me confused, and my unbeating heart plummeted. "Why would you want to marry me?" she clarified. My spirits rose again. How could I not? She was the most beautiful most honest, loving, adorable person I had ever met. Despite my taking her life, despite me being so hostile to her, she brought out the best in me, woke me up to a level I had never been, got me to such a peaceful place, where I had been wallowing in self-pity before.

"Because I love you." I said simply. She looked at me for one moment, before frowning and turning away, her shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. My heart sank back, further than before and I swallowed painfully.

"I can't." She said. I almost gave up there, but something pushed me on.

"Why not?" Was it my family? The lack of her family? Did she not love me enough? Was I moving too quickly? Was I too old for her?

"I can't marry you," she turned to me, her face buried in her hands. My heart tore itself to pieces and my brain began to go over every way I could fix this, any way I could erase this.

"Not until you tell me what damn city we're in! It's driving me insane!" She looked up at me with the largest smile on her face. She hadn't been crying – she had been laughing. I lunged at her, my fingers finding her ribs and she began laughing as I tickled her.

"Stop! Stop!" she cried.

"Not until you agree!" I laughed, already knowing her answer.

"Yes! Yes I'll marry you!"


	21. It Just Won't Quit

**Before we begin, I would like to apologize. I have been so busy with life (and a new boyfriend), school (and exams [6 days ahhhh!]) and I have had a major case of writers block for the last week. Plus I still type slowly and suck at writing long chapters. I love all of you who have continued to remind me you love this story and I want to thank absolutely everyone for the wonderful reviews and your support. **

"_Yes! Yes I'll marry you!"_

He pulled back, searching my face, obviously looking for another prank. Brown flickered briefly around him, before he leaned in again, satisfied with my answer. He kissed me passionately, before we both calmed down a little. We sat in the empty theatre for a brief period of time, talking about the performance, and the beauty of it. It didn't really matter to me. I was insanely happy, more so than I had ever been whilst living with the Cullens.

As we finally exited the dark room I was hit with a multitude of colours, coming from the building itself. One of the elevator doors was white and yet the surrounding wall was turquoise. I hadn't noticed all of the colours before, but as I looked through the colours, I saw what I would usually see; a simple brown finish on the walls and dull gold elevator doors. Why did everything suddenly have a different colour, almost like a glow, around it?

I let Edward into my mind, to let him see my happiness and my confusion, and suddenly he stopped and turned to look at me.

"Bella?"

"Edward."

"You're seeing colours." He stated. Obviously.

"Yes, I did happen to realise that. I thought, at first that I was just elated at your proposal, but now, it's still there, and I'm not as giddy with joy as I was."

"Giddy with joy?" he quoted. I hit him on the side of the arm, trying to get him to focus.

"I'm serious. I know I'm still happy, but I'm not so strongly taken by it as I was, so I don't understand why I am still seeing colours."

"Let me in again?" he asked politely. I opened up my mind and he frowned as he looked through my eyes.

"It's beautiful, almost aura-like. We'll have to ask Carlisle."

"Aura?"

"Yes, it's like the temperament of people, and in this case, even objects, only it is shown as colours. The only aura colour I can remember ever researching was white."

"Why white?" I asked as we got into his car outside. We were passing dozens of humans and it wasn't bothering me; I was too interested in our current conversation. Edward smiled at me as we got into the car.

"White was the colour of death in so many old cultures, I wanted to know why, and as it turns out, when people are sick or extremely close to death, their auras turn white."

I thought back to the elevator. It was white. Did that mean that the machinery was faulty, making the elevator 'sick', or had there been a death there? Edward continued his educating:

"In the past, people were trained to see auras, not like today, where the majority of the population doesn't even believe in them."

"Do you?"

"I do now." He answered evasively. I smirked at his expression. It was so lost and excited and still happy from his recent mood shift. Suddenly though, it turned sad.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?"

"For not bringing you a ring, for not proposing properly."

"Edward, your proposal was perfect. You meant every word of it, and you pulled it straight from the heart. I love you, never doubt that." I said, squeezing his arm and then turning my head to look outside. "Chicago?"

"Yes. I wanted to show you something." He smiled. I noticed two things about that smile – it didn't reach his eyes, and a flicker of gray appeared in his 'aura'. So this could act as a lie detector then?

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked. He shrugged – actually shrugged – before the car suddenly turned down a street and his speed slowed significantly. I looked around and saw nothing but modern buildings. What could possibly be in here that Edward wanted to show me? I knew that he had once lived here, as a human, but there was nothing older than twenty years on this street.

He pulled off suddenly, stopping between two shiny glass buildings, and as he did I gasped in mild joy. The buildings beside the house had little to no colour, not having time to develop their personalities as buildings I supposed, but right between them, looking like it had been untouched by time, was a beautiful old mansion. It was glowing purple and white, and yet the building itself was multiple shades of brown. It looked like everything had been built up around it, as if the modern world had ignored its presence, like water flowing around a rock in the ground, instead of over it.

Edward looked at the house, many colours good and bad flashing across his face, until he turned to me.

"This is the house that I lived in, until I, until we, got sick. The last day I remember being here was about three days before my father died. We were in the hospital after that." I knew the story from there.

Edward took me by the hand and kissed my knuckles gently.

"I haven't been back here before. I bought the house from afar, in case I did ever want to come back, but I've never actually..." he frowned and looked to the house, lost in a memory of something or another.

I waited for him, seeing an array of darker colours flash over his body. Darker colours must equal negative thoughts, or feelings, or something. It was a while before he actually began to move. We got out of the car and he inhaled, smelling the old wood. I was taking in the severity and intimacy of the situation.

He eventually led us in and I looked around at the house, untouched by time, aside from the hum of the traffic outside. It was not clean, a thick layer of dust coated everything, and multiple spider webs hung from various surfaces. I moved, unconsciously closer to Edward at the sight of them. He chuckled ever so slightly. I listened, to the creaking wood as we walked, as well as the ridiculously fast heartbeats of the bats living above us. I watched Edward more than I did our surroundings. He, ever so tentatively, placed his hand on the dusty banister, leaving finger impressions in the dust.

"I used to slide down this when I was younger. I just have a vague, and random memory of sliding down this, landing on my feet at the bottom, and tumbling slightly into the wall. I can remember laughter, but not much else after that." Edward wasn't talking to me, not really.

"I can remember my birth mother getting angry with me once, for sliding and landing on a glass table. It shattered beneath me and cut into one of my favourite pair of trousers."

I could do nothing but watch as multitudes of emotions swirled around him. Everything seemed to be so quiet, almost unnaturally. Even the house could have been listening to him. He looked around, until his eyes settled on me. He blinked, as if surprised I was there, and then took me by the hand and led me softly upstairs. With every step we took dust was lifted into the air, forming swirling eddies that floated around us as we continued. He led me to what appeared to be his old bedroom. There was even a photograph sitting on a dresser. It was extremely grainy and faded, but it looked like Edward, only younger, and obviously human.

Why hadn't anyone looted this place? The house was filled with items that could be sold for a handsome price. Edward answered my thoughts, maybe he had heard them, maybe he was just thinking as I was.

"Because of the flu warning, no one has been in this house since it was abandoned. I think the locals also think this place is haunted."

"People think they can get the flu from a dusty house after eighty years?"

"Viruses and bacterium can be carried through animals you know. They can remain dormant in generations of bats – for example – and one bite, suddenly you're infected."

"If you say so." I smiled. It still seemed silly to me. 'Wouldn't there be other reported cases though? The bats can't stay here all the time."

"Then perhaps they just believe the house is haunted."

We continued around his house, he was reliving memories, I could see the changes in his demeanour, as well as the colours that warped around him. The rooms within the house, although mostly white, had bursts of colour that contrasted. Oddly enough, these were objects Edward would point out and tell me stories about.

The most beautiful colours in the house, shrouded the piano on the first floor. Pinks, yellows and oranges clung to the dusty piano like metal to a magnet. Edward looked older than I had ever seen him, but not in a tortured way. More in the way of resignation, going back to something and seeing you couldn't possibly return to it, no matter what.

We spent hours in the house, me learning more about him than I could ever hope to retaliate. I had no amazing stories, no decades to fall back on. I felt very meek and intimidated as we left the house, although more in love with the man I was going to marry.


	22. One More Kiss

**… and they all lived happily ever after. I know it's cliché, but weddings have been overdone on fanfiction. Basically, Bella can read auras now, and life goes on. Bella and Edward get married, and start what they have been doing for years, moving from town-to-town as a family, going to different high schools, being the Cullens in all their 'Culleny' ways.**

**I'm sorry I'm not continuing the story, I just don't see the point. I've gotten to a place, where I feel I can leave it and like it. The story is cliché, I just wanted to re-write the beginning and middle of the Twilight story. The end is whatever you have imagined for it. For this story – I had no end. It was just the vision of the beginning, and the two lovers' journeys towards each other. Thank you to everybody who has followed and reviewed.**

**This is a list of what all the aura colours actually mean:**

Purple: indicates spiritual thoughts. Purple is never a strong point in the Aura. It appears only as temporary "clouds" and "flames", indicating truly spiritual thoughts.

Blue: Balanced existence, sustaining life, eased nerve system, transmitting forces and energy. People with blue strong point in their Aura are relaxed, balanced and feel ready to live in a cave and survive. They are born survivors. Blue thought is a thought about relaxing the nerve system to achieve the balance of the mind or a thought about surviving.

Turquoise: indicates dynamic quality of being, highly energized personality, capable of projection, influencing other people. People with turquoise strong point in their Aura can do many things simultaneously and are good organizers. They feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing. People love bosses with turquoise Auras, because such bosses explain their goals and influence their team rather than demand executing their commands. Turquoise thought is a thought about organizing and influencing others.

Green: restful, modifying energy, natural healing ability. All natural healers should have it. People with a green strong point in their Auras are natural healers. The stronger the green Aura, the better the healer. They also love gardening and usually have a "green hand" - anything grows for them. Being in a presence of a person with a strong and green Aura is a very peaceful and restful experience. Green thought indicates a restful state and healing.

Yellow: joy, freedom, non-attachment, freeing or releasing vital forces. People who glow yellow are full of inner joy, very generous and not attached to anything. Yellow halo around the head: high spiritual development.

Orange: uplifting and absorbing. Inspiring. A sign of power. Ability and/or desire to control people. Orange thought is a thought about exercising power or a desire to control people.

Red: materialistic thoughts, thoughts about the physical body. Predominantly red Aura indicates materialistically oriented person.

Pink : love (in a spiritual sense)

Brown: unsettling, distracting, materialistic, negating spirituality.

Gray: dark thoughts, depressing thoughts, unclear intentions, presence of a dark side of personality.

Sulphur (color of mustard): pain or lack of ease, anger

White: serious disease, artificial stimulation (drugs). Several hours before the death, the Aura becomes white, and greatly increases in intensity. For this reason in most cultures "death" is depicted in white (not black), because in the past, people could actually see a white Aura before death.


End file.
